Say You Won't Let Go ➵ Camren

Chapter 27

Lauren's eyes shot open and she sat up trying to gain a breath. She looked towards the front of the plane to see if anyone noticed her and unfortunately Normani and Dinah both were peering back to her. She put her hand up to let them know she was okay as her chest rose and fell deeply filling her lungs with air.

It's been like this for two months and she hasn't talked to anyone about it. Even on the road when she'd share a room with any of her bandmates and they saw her wake up from one of these dreams, if you could even call it a dream, she wouldn't talk about it.

It was more of a memory that replayed in her head every night, or sometimes when she'd nap during the day. It was the argument she had with Camila before leaving her, except she was watching it like a movie.

She watched the anger fill her up and heard the coldness in her tone when she talked to the younger girl, more like yelled at her. In her dream, she truly got to see all of the sadness and heartbreak in Camila's eyes that night.

Almost every time she would wake up with a tightness in her chest and an inability to breathe. Sometimes, when she was lucky, she would wake up unfazed by it. This time happened to not be one of those times.

That's why she started working so much, hoping that it'll take her mind off of the regret that filled her every time she woke up from these nightmares. And it did. She'd wake up and get right to work. Ignoring the pain and staying angry at Camila.

She got up and went to the mini fridge to get a water. She walked over to the chairs where her bandmates were, plopping herself next to them.

"Everything okay, Lolo," Normani said focusing on her phone.

"Bad dream?" Dinah asked while on her phone as well.

"Yeah," Lauren sighed. "Can I ask you something?"

They looked up slowly, making eye contact with each other. They both wondered if she was finally going to talk about Camila.

"Anything," Normani reassured.

Lauren looked at their concerned faces and decided not to say what was on her mind. "Do you think I should've brought Jessica with me," she blurted out.

Dinah furrowed her brows, "Are you having sex with her?"

"What?! No, she's just my assistant," Lauren said.

"She doesn't assist you wiiiiith..." Normani trailed off and Lauren shook her head. "So, why would she come with you? It's a weekend off. No work. No assistants. No managers."

"Right," Lauren mumbled not comfortable at not working for a whole weekend.

Normani and Dinah went back to their phones and, Lauren pulled out her own. She put her earphones in and considered watching a specific person on YouTube. Her leg bounced up and down anxiously.

Since calling Camila, the younger girl hasn't left Lauren's mind. She tried hiding it with work, but her side projects were coming to an end and her schedule has been clearing up nearing the release date of The Holy Trinity's album.

The group was now just doing magazine articles, filming music videos, and attending awards shows, which wasn't enough to keep Lauren mind off of her ex-girlfriend.

Fuck it, she thought and opened up her YouTube app. She clicked on Camila's most recent video and when it started, she was met with the brightest smile she's ever seen on Camila's face.

"Hey pumpkins! You guys seriously don't understand how amazing it is to not have to edit my videos to change my voice and all that. Blessing," she clapped her hands and pointed up thanking god.