Aki (A Naruto/HxH Crossover Fan Fiction)

Killua: Altschmerz

Altschmerz

The weariness with having the same old issues that you've always had.

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"Say... what do you think that guy would do if I were to die again?"

"What?"

The indignation in Killua's voice was clear.

"I asked, what do you think that guy would do if I were to di again?" Aki repeated, frowning deeper.

Killua gave her a look before replying. "Good luck with that." He scoffed.

"You'd be lucky if you even manage to put one foot in the coffin. That guy would never allow you to die, idiot." He added, albeit sarcastically.

"That's right. Gon is that kind of person." All the more reason to fear.

Aki could just envision it—Gon's lifeless body at her feet interlapping with all of her loved ones. She flinched at the idea; at the simple notion of adding another name at her conscience. 

"Hey."

Aki covered her mouth, mentally beating herself up for being hung up on her past 'life'. She was doing it again—coinciding her present with the past. Aki grit her teeth.

It must have been a side effect of the jutsu. And, Aki has been finding it hard to keep herself rooted to 'this' world.

Despite the odds of having a way back home at Whale Island, she wasn't keen on returning back to her previous world. Her time was over. Going back there would've only tormented her.

"—Hey! You're ignoring me again." Killua bumped her shoulder, jolting her back to reality. Aki blushed a little, embarrassed by her own attachment to the past—and how she was trying to connect it to her present company.

"It's nothing! I—uh... I just... I'm still kind of in the process of debunking my memories." Aki explained.

Killua raised a brow, but didn't comment further. Aki was thankful for the silence.

"... Hey. I know that look."

Aki looked at Killua in surprise. "You do?"

Killua shrugged. "I came from a family of assassins, remember? That's why, I know the look of horror. I'm quite familiar with it."

"... I guess so." Aki agreed.

"So?"

"So what?"

Killua had to keep himself from groaning. "Mind telling me what you're worried about? What are you so horrified of?"

Aki looked at Killua, ruminating over his words. 

"... I told you guys about my past, right? How all of my family is dead or has abandoned me. Well, except the family that I apparently have here, I suppose." Aki quickly added towards the end.

"Yeah?"

"So..." Aki sighed. "I'm scared."

"Of what, exactly?"

"Of losing anyone else."

"And? Do you think we don't feel that too?" Killua prodded.

"What?"

"My dad used to tell me to never act unless the path to success is certain. That's because emotions like fear and worry brought about by unequated factors will mess up the job. That's why we train relentlessly." Killua spared a glance at Aki. "Isn't it the same for you?"