Find You There (Fanfic Version)

Fifty-Four

"Can I go upstairs now, dad?" I ask. "I need to call the cats. They uh -- they deserve the explanations. I've been lying to them too." I shut my eyes for a few seconds, preparing myself for what's next to say. "As f-for Har-Harry. . . he seems to believe that and I uh -- l-let's keep it that way."

The silence makes it all top uncomfortable, but they agree anyways. The moment dad says I could, I stand up and head towards my room. Once I am already in my room, I only shut the door and lie down. I'll call the cats later. . . maybe, come over. . . but later. I don't feel like doing anything.

The week after consists of me staying around in the kitchen rather than my room. There I sit on the high stool, my hands over the counter as I try to think of what I should do. At most, even though I'm legally an adult, my parents never fail to watch over me. I feel like I'm back in my teens where they have to know where I go and what I do. Mom stays around more often and I do appreciate that but I prefer dad. He doesn't pester me with too much questions and he knows how and when to joke. Mom just doesn't know much about it.

It takes me back to the time of Mrs. Cartwright. I wondered, if she was here, what kind of situation would I be facing? Will it be less painful? Will it be more bearable? Truth was, I don't know.

Sometimes it makes me wish that Robbie was still around too. I miss how he asks about my days and how he knows when to stay quiet. He was an easier person to talk to. I don't even want to compare him with my mom but I cannot deny that fact. Conversing with him was much easier. Danny, his son, wasn't exactly in the same page given the fact that Robbie had been our driver for quite a time and I know him. Danny was a new face for me. Just because he's Robbie's son, that never guaranteed they were alike.

Sometime during the past week, I asked him how his father had been. He said Robbie was doing well. It only saddened me to hear how he doesn't talk much anymore because he was still shaken up by entire pile up that happened that day. It's like losing a friend too.

I already explained to the cats about my entire situation. Although Madz and Isabelli were slightly difficult to convince, they came around the block easily. Micha, on the other hand, had even offered to take part should I decide to set Harry's racecar on fire –which I am not looking forward to take part in. I was told though, that they've done something remarkably close.

I silently eat through my mashed potatoes, every once in a while, mixing it all up. Once again, I am back to my habits of magazines or latest news I randomly come across through the internet. My laptop lies on the counter near my plate as I scroll through. Most basically, I try to keep with the highlights. I would never have guessed that they already made a movie about Queen or that North Korea is finally open for negotiations and all the rest of those stuff.

In its most basic form, my days consists of catching up and reading back through my studies so when I do get to college in the fall, my mindset can be prepared.

Mom walks by, seemingly checking up for what I do but it's not at all much interesting. We barely have things to talk about. I'm used to that part.

A car runs down the driveway. Most unfortunately, the toaster I use for reflections is now replaced so I cannot see who enters the door unless I turn around. But, the smooth rev of the engine alone can tell me that it's not my dad's car.

Mom opens the door and the figure was all too familiar. Shut the door, mom. Just shut the freaking door. Shut the door. They talk. They keep talking and it's all the more unsettling. I look over my shoulder. They're still talking. Shut the door, mom.

The door opens wide and he walks in. Shit.

I'm already too tired and I don't want this. I get up and make my way to my room eventually. It'll be too stupid to face him now. I want him gone.