Molly examined her. “Why are you here, Braidy?”
The question reminded her of the time she visited John's psychiatrist. Braidy shook her head. “I... I don't know.” She bit her lip and looked about the morgue. Why had she come? “I'll just... I'll just go.” She turned to leave, but Molly's voice stopped her.
“It's fine.” She smiled weakly at Braidy. “I understand why you're here. You miss him.” Braidy felt a lump rise in her throat, and she nodded, unable to say anything. “Stay. I'll make you some coffee?”
“You don't have to.”
“I know I don't.” She went to retrieve two coffees while Braidy sat on a stool, taking in the atmosphere around her. He so often was here. It was like a second home to him sometimes. Just sitting here she felt closer to him than she had in ages. But how long would that last?
Molly appeared next to her, wheeling over a stool to sit in. “How have you been?” she asked, and Braidy wasn't sure how to answer.
She always answered that question with a lie; Fine. But she wasn't fine, and she didn't want to lie, not to Molly. “Horrible,” she said, and took a long swig of coffee. “Terrible.” Molly nodded, but didn't say anything. “I miss him. I miss him so, so, so much.” Braidy was on a tangent now. She hadn't talked openly about this to anyone. Not a psychiatrist, not her best friend Sam, not Sherlock's grave, not even John. “I love him with everything I have. I don't know what to do anymore. John is so sad. He tries to hide it, but I see right through him. I can't fix anything. I wasn't even here when it happened.” She bit back tears. “I wasn't here when my best friend died.”
Molly had taken her hand. “I'm so sorry.”
“Don't. Please don't say that. I am so sick of hearing that,” Braidy said, but she squeezed Molly's hand appreciatively.
“Why did you leave?” Molly asked hesitantly.
Braidy didn't answer for a moment. “I was scared,” she finally said. “I was terrified.”
“Of?” prompted Molly.
“Losing him,” Braidy replied. “Becoming boring. You know how he is... Figure out the riddle, solve the case, and... he's done.”
Molly's eyebrows stitched together. “You thought he'd get bored of you... because he'd gotten you?”
Braidy nodded, and the flood gates opened. Molly gathered her into her arms, coffee discarded on the table next to them. It was several minutes later that Molly was tucking wet strands of hair behind Braidy's ears. “I just panicked,” Braidy told her. “I booked a flight to Ireland and made sure he was tired enough to be asleep when my flight left so that I could get out without him knowing. I thought maybe... maybe it would make me more interesting. That I'd be able to keep him for just a while longer.” She shook her head, laughing without humor. “It was so stupid. I was running away from my problems and hoping to solve them at the same time.”
Molly shook her head. “It's not stupid.”
“I know you never really liked me, Molly,” Braidy was saying, ignoring Molly's last comment. “I know why. And I understand. And I'm so sorry, Molly.”
Molly, much to Braidy's surprise, smiled. “No, don't be sorry. You... You were perfect for him. You always would have been. The way he looked at you... It was magic, Braidy.”
“I don't know what to do anymore,” Braidy confessed.
“You live,” Molly replied with a sad smile. “As hard as it is, you put one foot in front of the other and take life a day at a time.” She stood and gestured around the room. "I should get back to work. Would you like to stay for a while?”
Braidy nodded.
“You heard?”
“Every word.”
Molly bit her lip. “I think you should go to her.”
He shook his head, and then sighed. “I can't.”
“You can,” she protested. “She needs you, Sherlock. John needs you. You know how they've been doing. I've told you everything I've heard.”
“I can't put them in danger.”
“You think they care about that? You think that it would bother them? They were in constant danger with you before.”
“This is different.”
“It's not.”
He stared at her, and she could clearly see the sadness behind his cold, calculating, gray eyes. “Please. Leave it.”
And she did.
(Pick out the RENT dialogue I stole. :P)
