ᵀᴿᵁᵀᴴ ᴼᴿ ᴰᴬᴿᴱ メ ᴾᴴᴬᴺ

-15-

p h i l
one minute i was cuddled on top of dan, my head resting on his chest as i bawled my eyes out, for no apparent reason. there was a reason, but one no one ever cared to hear, or bothered to ask. the minute that dan asked me what was wrong, that he seemed to care, was the best thing in my life. he was the first person who had ever noticed, bothered to ask, i felt so safe with dan, like i could tell him anything, that i could trust him with my life. and the next minute, i had cupped dan's face with my hands and was kissing him. and he had kissed back.

it was a rather messy kiss, and i blame myself as i had never done anything like it before, but he didn't seem to care. but i am glad my first kiss was with dan. his hands were at first on my neck, pulling me closer to him, but quickly moved to my waist, his legs opening so my body could be placed perfectly in between the space like fitting the last jigsaw piece to the puzzle. i felt his hands tugging at my trousers but the belt i was wearing was winning and didn't let him pull them down, but he kept trying, pulling and pulling...

our kiss was short lived, abruptly interrupted by a loud banging at the door. i lifted my head from dan's face, seeing his beautiful, cheeky smile with glistening brown eyes but i ignored them, scrambling out of the bath tub. dan sat up in the bath tub, watching me as i started pacing up and down the room. what were we to say? two boys locked up in a bathroom together. i didn't know about dan but i sure would be suspicious.

"hey, you okay in there?"

a familiar voice came through the door that i recognised as marcus'. i looked over at dan who was still in the bath tub, starting to look a little bit worried, but not as much as me.

"just getting my booze!" dan yelled back, "showing our good friend here the good ones,"

"oi, you can't tell everyone where the good booze is kept!" marcus said, banging the door again, clearly angry that the good stuff was being shared. i looked over at the bottles of booze next to the toilet, there was enough to go around.

"it's just phil!"

the banging stopped, and i hear marcus laughing. "you in there too phil?"

dan looked at me, waiting to answer and at first i nodded, before realising marcus wasn't going to see me from where i was standing. i told him i was and he said 'okay', for some reason okay with me knowing about his stash of drinks. i wondered why, i didn't see myself looking like a drinker.

"you coming back in?" dan asked, and i looked at him, embarrassed. dan was clearly drunk, and i didn't want to take advantage of that to kiss him, however much i wanted to do that again, hopefully not interrupted this time. he gestured to me, trying to persuade me to go back into the bath tub again but i couldn't move. my legs were stuck, they were as conflicted as my brain and heart, trying to figure out how i felt about dan. i turned towards the door, tempted to leave the bathroom and the party but before i could turn the key to unlock the bathroom door, someone had wrapped their hands around my waist. it was dan.

---

d a n
all i could think was how rude marcus was for ruining my moment with phil. our beautiful moment which started as phil turning round to kiss me and turning it into a passionate make out session, except lasting not long at all. or maybe just not long enough. i wasn't going to let go of that. i enjoyed it, and all i wanted was to do it again.

i wasn't sure how phil felt. when i asked him to come back to me in the bath tub, he seemed unsure and as confused like my heart was feeling. but however much my heart has been confused in the past, phil was making it a hell lot harder. he was playing hard to get. and i liked it. he turned to leave, slowly walking towards the door and that's when i knew i had to do something. i had to do something to make the moment last. even a few minutes longer. i jumped out of the bath tub and grabbed his waist from behind, and he let go of the key, as i started to kiss his neck.

at first, he froze and i myself was unsure how this would go. but soon he was less tensed up and turned round, so i could peck him on the lips, before moving down to his neck, where i started to suck on his skin. he moaned, i'd hope in delight as as he lifted his head up to give me more room as i pushed him against the wall. i stopped for a moment, not only to catch my breath but to admire my work, and smiled as if i had made an achievement.

"dan?"

i looked at phil, who was staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes, and i nodded, acknowledging i had heard the question. he seemed rather hesitant, and i wonder what he wanted to ask.

"is this real?"

i continued to stare into his eyes, confused by the question.

"is this a dream?"

he continued to ask as i was unable to answer the first question. his legs gently gave way so he slowly slid down the wall and was now sitting up against it. i sat next to him.

"if so, it's the best dream i've ever had,"