ᵀᴿᵁᵀᴴ ᴼᴿ ᴰᴬᴿᴱ メ ᴾᴴᴬᴺ

-6-

(fast forward a month)

phil's alarm clock went off, and he got up immediately, a wide smile on his face. he quickly got dressed, choosing to go full out today. it was the finally the start of semester. he was excited to meet new people, not that he was sick of dan. dan had drifted away from him after a week, already finding some people like him. they were like a small pack, dan making the fourth member, all with stylish hair, piercings and black leather jackets. dan had found his people. but phil had yet to find his.

phil wanted to be liked. liked for the person he was. dan acted differently when he was with his friends, and often failed to acknowledge he was his friend too, let alone room-mate.

phil got ready in the bathroom, changing into a pastel yellow shirt and baby blue jeans. He topped off his look with a flower crown and smiled in the mirror, taking a deep breath.

'This was the day,' he thought, and as he was looking for contact lenses, he knocked something over. it was the hand cream which phil gave dan a few weeks ago. it was almost finished. phil smiled at the thought that dan was using something he had given him. dan didn't say 'thank you' when he did, and phil had no idea if the punk he shared his room with was going to start moisturising but it looked like he did.

phil remembered their second 'breakfast date' like it was yesterday. dan was so keen on going again, and however much phil resisted with embarrassment of their first time, phil just couldn't  say no. It was here that dan met his new friends, as they walked out. they had all driven motorcycles and dan, being the fearless person he was, strided up to them and talked for so long that Phil felt he had to leave. phil had an amazing time that morning. they talked about what they were both studying and dan even shared a little about his family. phil was sure they were going to go back the next day, but that was where he was wrong. as he exited the bathroom to pack for his first lecture, dan has woken up too.

he yawned as he stood up, seeing phil and trying not to laugh.

"do you uhh, ever wear any darker colours?" Dan asked, moving closer to Phil. "it's like you... work in a cloud factory,"

phil felt embarrassed by dan's comment. People talked to him a lot like that, but it was different when Dan did it. Phil turned round to put books on his bag and said,

"I'll take that as a compliment." phil placed his light coloured stationery into his light blue backpack, and continued to do so silently.phil wasn't hurt, too much. he was used to it by now. but he has really thought that of all people, dan would understand what's it's like to be different. to be judged all the time. but he guessed he was wrong. i wear this because it makes me happier.

dan frowned, wondering if he had hurt the soft boy with what he said. he probably did, though it wasn't his intention. dan mocked people a lot. he thought it was fun and he enjoyed watching the expressions of people's faces when they realise what dan has said. but for some reason, it was different when he did it to phil. dan didn't want to hurt phil like he did with others, and he felt the need to apologise, but being the awkward person he was, with no idea how to do it, so instead, he shoved the thought to the back of his head and decided to get ready for his own lecture.

phil was still in the room when dan got out of the bathroom, his hair wet and the towel only just covering his crotch. they were tiny towels and both phil and him were huge. dan saw phil quickly look away and dan couldn't help but smile. dan thought that phil had already left for his lecture. but he hasn't gone anywhere, not even to get breakfast. ever since dan found some people like him, he never went out for breakfast with phil. he didn't go anywhere with phil . they shared a bond that first time, and the second time was just as funny, phil starting to get the hang of eating pancakes with his hands almost as soft as the pancake. dan even shared some details about him and his family. he felt that he could trust phil. but he couldn't bring himself to do it again the next day, after meeting people that could help him gain his reputation.

dan remembered when phil gave him the hand cream. he used it because he found it like a memory to him, the day phil and him had a good time. the day that he 'saved Phil's life'. he hoped that not going out for breakfast with hadn't been too hard on him. dan loved phil's eyes when they lit up, as dan made some form of joke that would never be laughed at by anyone else.  dan was too scared to use the hand cream anymore, because it was almost finished.

dan looked up at the totoro clock on phil's side of the room and frowned. he loved anime, but he could never tell anyone. not with the reputation he wants to uphold. in his bedroom at home he has totoro figurines and even a doll, but that was a secret, one he couldn't tell anybody. he had half an hour to get to his lecture, and so did phil.

"why haven't you left yet?" dan asked, cautiously throwing on clothes, wary that phil was still looking away from him. he found some pair of ripped black jeans and sat on the bed to put them on.

"I... uh, I don't think I'm going." dan stopped, mid-change and looked at phil, one leg through his trousers and the other still out.

"no reason just uhh.." phil gasped, not realising dan was still changing, seeing more than he has ever wanted to see and quickly turned back, and gulped. dan wanted to laugh at phil's reaction but didn't, and put his leg through the leg hole.

"you can't, not go," dan said, walking over to phil who seemed to still be recovering from what he just saw.

"that's easy for you to say, you're cool and confident. you could walk anywhere with no worry in the world," phil said, turning round again, relieved to see dan changed fully.

"i'll take that as a compliment," dan said, but he sighed.. what phil was saying, it was only the half truth. inside, dan was petrified, and he has no one to tell this too. he pretends to be the the bad boy punk and people believe him. but it's all just an act.