Walls Of Hearts

Chapter 21

As soon as we got back, Harry had to turn up to the studio that evening, From there, he'd gone with the other boys to have dinner together and so I decided on making some quick and simple dinner for myself. Even though it was definitely nowhere near Harry's amazing chicken curries and quiches and many other dishes he'd been making, my salad was still delicious and enough.

By the time he got back, I was tired and asleep after spending my evening talking to Mum and Dad, Alex and also Hannah.

The following day, he had an interview in the morning and had to go straight to the studio from there and so he'd woken up extra early so he could leave. I'd also woken up, upon hearing his alarm and I realised just how tired he was, not wanting to wake up this soon after coming home quite late.

I'd made the pair of us some toast whilst frying up an omelette. I kept some juice with that, before he came downstairs since I felt bad for him.

"I'm sorry about yesterday." Harry said from opposite me. "I'll be home by eight today and we can chill and watch something when I get back." He said as he took a sip of his juice before starting his breakfast. "Thank you for this, by the way."

"Harry, be quiet." I scoffed as I watched him. "I just feel bad for you guys with how busy your schedule is."

"It is what it is, I guess." He shrugged his shoulders.

The day after that, Harry had to be at the studio again and Eleanor decided to come over so we both just hung out and had fun with each other.

But despite it being merely three days since we got back, I certainly wasn't growing less nervous as the days went by for the interview Harry and I were scheduled to go to. The day after that was the day I was praying wouldn't come but it inevitably did and I was just wanting to rewind the time to a time when I didn't have to do something like this.

We'd woken up and Harry was finding it amusing how I was apparently 'over-reacting' but for me, it wasn't over-reacting, it was just my anxiety being triggered, and rightfully so.

I couldn't believe I actually agreed to this. Who was I? The Jasmine I knew would have never agreed to do this.

"Jasmine?" Harry called my name when he realised that I hadn't spoken in some time but it was simply because my thoughts kept me too occupied. He discarded his phone as he put it on the table beside our empty coffee mugs and sat up straight to look at me.

We were currently killing some time in the terrace before we had to actually leave for the interview and after realising that I wasn't freaking out like I had been in the morning, he'd noticed that I'd just become quiet and so he was now worried.

"Jasmine, I feel so bad." He says as he looks at me. I put my phone to the side as well, reverting my attention to him. It wasn't like I was doing anything on my phone anyway, since I was just looking at a blank screen as I sorted through my thoughts. "If you want, I'll turn up for the interview and you don't-"

"Harry, you need to be practical." I sigh, sitting up as well. "I'm fine, I swear."

"You're not." He shakes his head. "Talk to me; tell me what you're thinking."

"I'm honestly fine." I said. "I'm just scared."

"I'll be with you the whole time." He says and I sigh, staying silent for a while before staring a short story.

"A couple years ago, I had a therapist." I say to him. "I was at a point in my life where nothing seemed to be right. So I had a counsellor who said I ranged within super high anxiety levels. And during one of the first few meetings, I'd learnt that I had anxiety for as long as I can remember but I just thought that that was normal, which is insane." I chuckled. "Like I thought everyone worried about talking to new people, I thought everyone analysed a conversation after holding it, I thought everyone hated talking on the phone and I even thought everyone hated saying their orders to the waiter. But that was just anxiety and I'd spent my whole life, taming it and allowing it to grow to the point it did." Harry was about to speak up but I stopped him immediately. "I don't need any pity or sympathy but I just wanted to say that's why I'm scared." I shrugged my shoulders.