Walls Of Hearts

Chapter 107

"Hey, you're crying." I'd noticed after a few minutes of staying like that and it caused me to pull away from Harry, confused.

"So are you." He'd let out a chuckle as he wiped at his eyes embarrassed, grimacing slightly. "Don't just pin it on me."

It was only when he'd pointed it out that I'd realised a few tears were landing on his sweatshirt from me. "I'm just glad we're fine, that's all." I'd told him but he'd cocked an eyebrow, not believing me for a second. "And well, I guess after being so numb to everything, it feels like I have to let it all out."

"So you admit it - you were emotionally numb." He laughed softly, feigning a sense of victoriousness in his voice, though there was nothing he genuinely won by being right apart from bragging rights even that didn't feel like a win in this situation.

He watched the wind blow my hair in front of my face for a few seconds after that and then asked me if I wanted him to tie my hair back in a ponytail.

"In the car." I'd said to him since my leg was getting tired of standing for far too long already. He fixed it for now by tucking my hair behind my ears.

"Come on, let's head home." Harry whispered, pressing a gentle kiss on me before leading me to the car, his back turned to me and he couldn't see the giddy smile I wore on my face now that I finally felt the train move in the direction it was heading to all along.

Home, he'd said. It certainly felt as unsafe as ever but for once in a long time, I wanted to go back. I wanted to go back and tackle all my worst fears. But I only wanted to do it so that Harry and I could move forward in life, even if it meant we had more baggage to haul across with us.

Going back home, despite being quite quiet, wasn't uncomfortable nor awkward like before. No, this time we let the peace wash over us, content and completely willing to make things work. It was a weird kind of peace though because even though I'd felt satisfaction at the thought of Harry and me finally being on the same page, I was still reeling from the pain that the last week had caused. I'd just felt glad because I didn't feel alone anymore and that was a damn good feeling - to know that even in your darkest and hardest moments, you weren't alone. It felt like you could weather any terrible storm.

We tried to walk back inside quietly, not wanting to disturb Mum or Dad who were sleeping. Or at least, we thought they were. And I would be lying if I denied that I didn't have the tiniest scare when I heard the lock of the kitchen door click.

"It's okay." Harry said instantly, without even having to look at my panicked reaction. He did briefly look at me though, nodding his head to reassure me that everything was fine. His hand warmly placed itself on my back as he moved closer to me, and the two of us walked over to the kitchen.

Of course it was okay. I mean, how could it not have been? I was making things up in my head and that's what I'd been doing for the last week or so and I'd seen how it cost me, so I'd really rather not do that again. But unfortunately, I couldn't help the twinge of paranoia that did pull at my nerves even though I was trying to keep calm. Harry let me catch up to him as he reached for the door handle, wearing a confident face, not afraid in the slightest. How did he do that, I found myself wondering. Did he just never feel scared? Was anxiety really that bad that when you don't have it, things are actually that much more peaceful in your mind?

"Tracey, everything alright?" Harry spoke up as he opened the door to the kitchen and lo and behold, there was my mum, putting away a glass in the dishes rack to let it dry. Harry strode in, dropping the keys on the dinner table and pulling a chair out for me to sit down in. He then looked at me, not realising that I was still stood in the same place.

"Yeah, Harry." She'd smiled softly, her eyes glancing over at me as I took a seat on the chair and took Harry's jacket off with his help. "You both okay? I got your text, Harry. I heard the main door when you both left and I was about to come downstairs to check in on what the noise was from but I saw your text before that so it saved me the trip!" She let out a chuckle. "I fell asleep after that for only about half an hour and then I've just been waiting till you both got back because I was just restless." She'd grimaced, causing Harry to laugh.