Just Kidding | ✔️

Chapter 59: At Sunrise

not sure if the song will go with this chapter but. . .i love it so much so who cares!

♡

Monday is saying hello once more as he always does.
The rest of the week along with the weekend passed by at an excruciatingly slow pace. As of Friday, I've been put on bed rest. Which means no more school for the sick girl.

It's odd, I never thought I'd miss the unhealthy and nasty school lunches, or the gossip of the hundreds of students, even the rush of just being in high school at all. Now that it's gone, I want more than anything to go back, just for one more day.

Morning knocks at my window with a smile, the sun hasn't yet risen but that doesn't stop Lora from knocking on my bedroom door.

"Come with me." She whispers.

I turn my head, watching the clock strike 5:23am. Releasing a soft groan I answer, "at five in the morning?"

"Yep, let's go." She ignores my protest and scurries out of the door, expecting me to follow.

When I walk downstairs, far too lazy to get dressed or brush my hair, I find Lora throwing a cotton cardigan over her t-shirt and opening the front door.

"The sun isn't up, so why should I be?" I say, rubbing my sleep ridden eyes.

"Because, we're going to watch the sun come up." She grabs my hand and pulls me into the early day that still hasn't woken just yet. The air is chilly and the breeze is hardly a whisper against my ear. The shadows of the houses lining the neighborhood are beginning to rise as lights from within begin to ignite

Lora jumps into her car and within fifteen minutes
We arrive at the beach. The one I so vividly remember I spent one of the greatest days of my life at.

New Year's Eve.

I follow as Lora takes off her sandals and strolls down towards the shoreline. The moon begins to fade as the sun peeks out from behind the horizon.

Soon, the long we walk for, the more the sand is dragging me under, making it difficult to walk. It's tough trying to keep up to Lora's fast pace when not so long ago I used to run up and down these shores.

I stand tall on my bare feet, recollecting my lungs and telling them to stay with me, just a while longer. Suddenly a hand is held out for me and I greatly receive it. "Thanks." I smile at Lora as she guides me further through the sand.

Watching as slowly the sun burns brighter and rises higher, is a sight I never knew I longed to see but now that I have, I don't ever want to unsee it.

When Lora's hands release me and she sets me down gently, my feet grasp onto the now cold and wet sand. I take it in, memorizing this feeling. Because soon I won't feel much of anything anymore. I'll lose it all with the last beat of my withering heart.

"Look." Lora breathes, nodding out to the ocean ahead. The sun is now blue, shades of a deep red and orange surround the now glowing orb that is the sun as it makes its way home again. The water reflects the beauty of the sunrise, glistening in the new light like a star in the sky.

I lay my head upon Lora's shoulder to feel her ragged breathing against my ear, it's somehow calming. The day is breaking right in front of me and all I can do is watch it. Watch it explode into a colorful rainbow that in time will dissolve into blue skies.

"It's beautiful." I sigh.

"I couldn't agree more." Lora's voice is shaky as it drowns in her throat, I look over to see that she's crying.

"Lora?" I ask.

"This just isn't fair. Why must bad things happen to extraordinary people?" She blurts.

Extraordinary? I'm not sure if I'd go that far.

"If I only knew." I look down at the sand that now sparkles in the sunlight. I imagine a greater world, one that is not so unfair.

"You had so much to offer, you had so much more time left to live, Kyla."

"I guess I just wasn't supposed to live that long." I admit.

When our conversation ends, we gaze back at the skies and soon I feel myself dozing off into the sun. Spreading my wings and following it wherever it must go. Then next thing I know everything is black.

I wake next to my body burning inside and out, upon my bedsheets I stretch my aching bones only to let out a cry. Rejecting movement, I fall back against the pillows and give way to the piercing agony inside of me. "Lora?!" I scream her name, only leaving my throat to burn in protest and next thing I know I'm vomiting into my trash can set beside my bed.

My heart is beating erratically as if I'm finally dying, but wasn't I already?

Can I die twice? Or even twenty times?

"What? What is it, honey?!" Lora bursts into my room and I wish so bad that Cooper was behind her, but I've ignored just about every phone call and text from he or anyone for that matter. Except for Blake. As much as I wish to hide away and wait until the end, to not cause anymore damage, Blake is already wounded for life. He's losing the last family he has left, and that is not something that can be forgotten.

"It hurts Lora!" I cry. Lifting my head, only to empty my stomach of blood once again.

Quickly Lora runs towards me, picking me up in her arms and leading me out of my bedroom, Snickers is left behind, squealing and crying. I wave him a goodbye.

Even if I am hardly aware of where the ground stops and starts, I know one thing for sure:

That I won't be coming back to see Snickers again, I won't feel his soft fur beneath my hand, won't look into those blue eyes, or wake up to him beside me.

So maybe I'll never see the dog again, which is a sob story all on its own but you see: Having cancer means you have to be ready to lose more than you can bare.

Like my room. My bed. The sunlight. The world. I know I'm far too weak to ever be able to return to this home and live out my days here in familiarity.

I'm dying. Now more than ever.

I look at Snickers and remember a time where I could feel everything, see everything, where I could smile. Where my cough was just a cough and my loss of breath was a whole other thought entirely. Yet here I am, being placed a the car as I vomit blood into the street.

Lora steps on the gas as if it is her destiny to drive a feeble girl to the hospital. Eventually I'm unable to keep track of time any longer. All I can hear are the sounds of Lora yelling at me to stay awake and breathe.

Just breathe.

Images of Cooper and Riley, Chloe and Blake, even Bryce and Matt, Aaron and Cameron, begin to race through my mind. I don't want to leave them all behind but I'm losing my grip on the world and I have no control over it.

Next thing I know I'm losing consciousness, fading in and out. All I can seem to find are clips of the present passing me by.

Being carried into the hospital,
screaming,
crying.
Being put onto a bed,
Loud voices

Soon enough all I can hear is the sound of a line going flat. . .

That sound is none other than my heart.