Believe in Me

Chapter 31

Demi's POV

I had just started to fall asleep when I head my door creak and little foot steps coming over to my bed. Anna lifted up the covers and climbed onto the edge of the bed. She has never done this before. I heard a sniffle. I was really worried. I scooted over so I was laying right behind her with my arms wrapped around her. "You okay?" I asked softly in a worried tone.

"Yeah I'm fine," she whimpered. It was obvious she was crying. 

"Are you crying? Baby, tell me what's wrong,"

"Nothing, I just had a bad dream," She lied. I didn't want to force her to tell me the truth. She'd tell me if she was ready, right? 

"Do you want to tell me about it?" I asked already expecting the answer.

"No," she whimpered. 

"Okay, well try to sleep, I'm here if you need me," I said. It was the only thing I could think of to say. I don't know how to help her if she wont tell me what's going on. I buried my head in the back of her neck and breathed in her sweet scent. All I want is for her to be happy. 

"Demi?" she mumbled.

"What is it baby?" I asked hoping she would open up to me.

"Promise you wont get mad or hate me?" she asked shakily.

"I promise, just tell me Anna," I reassured.

"I- um-uh, I can't," she said sobbing. Something was seriously wrong. 

"Baby, yes you can! You can tell me anything," I said still with my face buried into her neck. She turned to face me, but wouldn't look at me.

"Can I just show you?" she asked in a weak voice. My heart stopped. What would she have to show me? Please don't tell me it's what I think it is. No Demi stop! Don't jump to conclusions. You've checked her wrists before.

"Whatever's easiest," I said. I sat up and flipped the lamp on. Anna was trembling in the bed. "What do you need to show me baby girl," I tried to hide the worry on my face. I scooted close to Anna and sat indian style right next to her. She refused to look at me. She rolled over onto her side and slide her waistband of her track shorts down so they were just revealing her hip. This can't be happening. Why didn't she come to me sooner? I took the waistband from her holding it down so I could see her hip. She pulled her hands to her face and curled up to my leg sobbing. I just sat there in shock examining her scars. I ran my fingers over the hundreds of red, purple, and white scars. How did I not notice this? I felt a tear roll down my cheek and fall onto her hip. She flinched snapping me out of my trance. I laid down with her pulling her into my arms.

"I'm sorry Demi," she managed to get out in between sobs.

"Shh baby, it's okay, I'm not mad. Baby please calm down and talk to me!" I pleaded. After a few minutes she calmed down. I pulled her chin up so she would look at me. She avoided eye contact. "Anna, baby please look at me," I said rubbing her back with the arm that was wrapped around her. She slowly brought her eyes up to look at me. "Why? why do you do this to yourself? You are worth more than this," I questioned. A tear rolled down her cheek and I wiped it away.

"I really don't want to talk about it right now Demi, I just- I uh- I need you," she said and then she laid her head back down on my shoulder and wrapped her arm over my stomach and cried. I hugged onto her tighter and cupped her face with my other hand wiping away the tears as they fell. She tensed up and clenched her fists. Now I understood why. She tried to get up but I pulled her back down and started singing.

"All the pain and the truth

you wear like a battle wound

So ashamed, so confused

you were broken and bruised

Now you're a warrior

Now you've got thicker skin

you're a warrior

you're stronger than you've ever been

And your armor, is made of steel, they can't get in

you're a warrior

And they can never hurt you again" I sang changing the lyrics. I felt Anna relax and I knew I had distracted her from the urge and the demons. She looked up at me and gave me a weak smile, but all I could see was the pain in her eyes. "I'm so proud of you baby girl," I said wiping another tear from her cheek.

"Why are you proud of me? I'm just a broken mess," she said breaking my heart.

"No, no you aren't. I'm proud of you for coming to me and resisting the urges baby girl. You are so strong. You are a warrior, you're my warrior," I said giving her a weak smile. She curled up closer to me and laid her head back down on my shoulder. I kissed the top of her head.

"I love you Demi," she said. I felt tears roll down my face and a smile form. That is the first time she's said that to me. I was overwhelmed with emotion.

"I love you too baby," I said and then she shut her eyes and fell asleep safe in my arms. After a while of thinking I feel asleep too.

I woke up with Anna literally wrapped around me. Her head was on my shoulder with her arms clinging to me and she had one leg bent and laying over my legs. Her face was squished by my shoulder making her mouth hang open. I couldn't help, but giggle some. Then I remembered what happened last night. My smile instantly faded. I carefully untangled myself from Anna and then went to make breakfast. Once I was finished making breakfast I went back upstairs to get Anna. She was still sleeping. I sat down next to her on the bed and gently shook her. She groaned and rolled away from me. "Baby, you gotta get up,"

"No," she groaned.

"Come on, breakfast is getting cold," she rolled onto her back and opened her eyes to look at me then shut them and threw her arms in the air reaching for me.

"Help me up," she said. I rolled my eyes and grabbed her arms to pull her up, but instead of getting up she pulled herself onto me, wrapping her legs around my waist and burying her head into my neck. 

"You little sneaky thing," I said and I felt her smirk in my neck. I carried her downstairs and tried to sit her down at the table, but she wouldn't let go. "Anna seriously, get down so you can eat," she didn't answer. She had fallen back to sleep. I turned my head and blew on her face to wake her up. She took her hand and shoved my face away. I couldn't help but laugh. Her grumpy 6 year old side was coming out again. I sat her down at the table and shoved her plate in front of her then sat down across from her. She was out of it. She could barely keep her eyes open. I handed her a fork and directed her to eat. She finally woke up completely and I saw her tense up when she looked at the food. Then it clicked. Her weight, and not wanting to eat solid foods and her 'stomach aches'. I reached out and took her hand for support. "I know baby, but you can do this," I reassured her. She looked at me shocked and confused.

"h-how'd you k-know?" she asked quietly.

"I'm not stupid," I responded simply. I watched her struggle as she ate the food finishing about half of it before she gave up. I decided it was good enough.

"I'm going to the bathroom," she announced and began walking away. I grabbed her wrist.

"Um no you aren't! I know exactly what you're going to do, and I know you don't want to, but we need to talk," she tried to get away, but then gave into me. I took her over to the living room and sat her down on the couch next to me I held onto her tightly and gently pushed her head down so it was laying on my shoulder. Maybe right after eating isn't the best time to try and get her to talk. I felt her tense up and noticed that she was digging her nails into her skin. I grabbed her hands so she would stop. I tried to comfort her and distract her until the urge passed. I could see all the pain and guilt in her eyes. She reminded me way too much of myself before treatment. I know the numbness, hopelessness, pain, and fear all too well. I felt her finally relax and I figured the urge had passed. "Why?" I asked knowing she knew exactly what I meant.

A/N

So I guess that's a little clifhanger for you all. Its mostley because I don't have time to write anymore right now... So what do you guys think? Demi finally knows! Any predictions or suggestions about what should happen next?