That One November Night

Chapter 46: Sinful

Gwen's POV:

Being aware what was written in that letter, "Look! Has it seriously taken you three years to finally think you love me enough to actually have children?" I erupted feeling free to no longer hide my own emotions.

"Gwen" he softened, trying to touch my hand.

"No! I am talking now! You will listen to me! Before we went out, I had a flaming life! I went out and I did things. You know, basketball and hanging with my friends. I enjoyed opening up and laughing about every single serious matter that we were too afraid to take seriously. That is of course until the day you decided to ask me out and since that my life has been nothing but utter shit! Then even after I was able to break up with you... Somehow you kept coming back even when I thought I was able to get away. You made me drive away the only person who could help me. Then you decided to fucking get me pregnant!"

Taking a breath, Travis put the letter back into his pocket. He was clearly bewildered that I was able to be so brave. He met my glance, "I didn't mean to."

I breathed out in a short motion, "Are you being that much of an up his own arse douchebag that you dare say that?! When I found out I was so excited, until I actually told you that is. Do you remember what you said to me, huh? I bet not! Okay I'll tell you. You turned your snotty nose up at me and said you didn't like the fact of me getting too big and that you didn't want children. You asked me if I would be okay getting an abortion as if it was as simple as 'do you want sugar in your fucking tea!'" I felt myself unable to say anymore through the heavy breaths which were dropping like weights from my mouth.

He took both my arms and leant over me forcing my body to lock over the counter top, "Matthew really put some ideas in your head Miss Colby." he snarled staring at me.

I gasped. How did he know about Matthew? Even if he had seen the photo in the hallway he wouldn't have been able to know his name. Surely?

"How do you know-" I started and then saw the power vanish from me.

He smiled from ear to ear, "Look, we still have our deal don't we? You can't exactly get out of it so maybe you should just loosen up a small bit, Hun that would really help us both out."

My eyes widened. Shit. He couldn't use that against me.

I scrunched up my face, "Because of you I had an abortion on the unborn child I cared about more than anything in the world." My voice wasn't like before – it was clearly broken but I carried on, "You knew that I wanted children. That I still want children. But you didn't even consider my feelings when you asked me to get rid of it. You're a heartless piece of shit." I started getting bitter again and his fists got tighter around my wrists but I was too in the moment to even realise, "The cunt whose fucking child it was in the first place. Even if I'd had the child, I would have had to lie to it every single day about who you were and about how you wanted it gone! So you dare come here practically four years on and say you are finally ready is a pissing joke."

I gridlocked, trying aimlessly to get him off of me. I grunted at the pressure. My body flung from left to right. His nostrils flared up like a bulls. I tried everything I could to get away from him. It wouldn't work. He was to strong. I yelled in pain. He noticed that he was hurting me and let go immediately. As he did so I went flying forward almost going head first into a piece of the worktop which would have cracked my skull.

Travis made sure that I didn't fall.

Taking a moment, not looking at him, "Thank you." I told him sincerely.

As I stood back up, I rubbed at my wrists. They appeared red from the tight grip he had forced on them.

Not enough to cause lasting damage but enough to startle me. He watched as I did this and placed his hand on top, gently asking me to stop rubbing. He took a few moments before he spoke in a soft tone which imitated Connor's, "I know that it won't be easy to forgive me Gwen."

I sighed and looked at him, an actual smile on his lips. A true genuine smile. I wanted to know his reaction. "My child would be three by now" I explained.

He nodded, "Our child."

He took my hand. I felt myself thinking about Taylor and how I longed to know who she would have become. "I would give anything to take back that decision."

"Anything?" Travis questioned with an eyebrow raised.

I gripped his hand in mine looking away, forgetting briefly that this wasn't Connor or even Matthew before me. It was Travis and I couldn't trust him no matter what he said, "I want her back. But that isn't possible Travis. you of all people know that."

"Hmm." He responded.

My vision turned to our hands, I tried to take mine away but he noticed.

"You got what you came for. Now please" I saw his lugubrious frown from the corner of my eye.

"No Gwen," he mumbled, using his prodigious palm to move my face to his.

There was no longer any space between us.

If he wanted to do something ungodly he would have done it before then. By he didn't. He outstretched his arms for me. A hug.

I gave in. remembering how special his hugs where. He was so broad that they somehow made me feel safe. His hands were at least twice the size of mine like a fathers toward his little girls, protecting.

I felt him stroking my back through the sheer nightgown. I shut my eyes briefly and waited for him to move away. But before he did, Travis started speaking, "I came here to get you back Kitten." His voice was a wolf in sheep's clothing. The rusted quality still there. "I know that won't happen now."

He pulled me back and i listened intently to what he had to say. I couldn't take my eyes from him.

Travis maneuverered one hand up my thigh, "I know that you aren't ready for me just yet." I didn't know what he meant but I kept listening as if it were a siren call, "Gwen I love you. I love you Guinevere Colby. One day I hope that you will come back to me. After all, you know that we still have our deal." He took away his hand.

Travis turned away.

I thought he would leave without telling me why he was still trying to blackmail me...

"Wait!" I screamed. Clinging to his hand.

His head lifted but he didn't turn back to me, "I'm listening Gwen."

I tugged at his hand. Eventually, he turned around listening to what I had to say, "Look, the deal isn't-"

He held my hand gently allowing me to let go if I wanted, "You know that I won't stop until I get what I want." He informed me with his voice quite, almost as if he thought the house was rigged and that saying it any louder would lead to him being caught.

I stared at him, "What do you want?" the innocence standing out like a billboard sign on a major road route.

He smiled. I let him call me names and tell me promises which he clearly didn't intend to keep but I listened until eventually...

He leant into me. His face slightly higher than my own. Tilted down to me. I looked up meeting his eyes. Unable to move away I waited. The doleful moment was gone. I felt at last like he was being honest with me.

He leant into me.

His face was mere centimetres away from mine.

Within seconds, his lips were on mine.

I didn't get a choice in the matter...

We kissed.

It tasted like sinful happiness.