That One November Night

Chapter 48: Fallout

After asking what he wanted from me...

Travis tranquilized  my lips with his own.

For the slightest second, something made me luxuriate it (only briefly) as soon as I realised what was happening I considered the idea that I only felt that way due to the consternation which had built within his arrival. Alas no, I didn't resist the turmoil he pursued upon me but that's only because I ebulliently thought he was the same boy I had fell in love with when we first met. But in taking myself back when he finished, I realised: he wasn't. He would never be. Any ounce of decency had been drained from his soul years ago.

For so long I had thought that he was what I wanted. Those years in school when I was just fifteen, before I knew Connor. Travis was the guy who I had always wanted to be with, oh how pitifully puerile I was to want someone like that. Even then, at a young age Travis Bullington had shown human defaults through his aggressive behaviour and perfidious personality. The bad boy type. I didn't know that he would turn out this way. Not like this. A retched monster. Satan's sidekick. The devil's right hand man.

In the moment he pulled back from me, I remembered something. A memory of actual love. One which I couldn't lose over something as foolish as this...

Our first November night. When it was rocketing down with rain and I found myself outside in the downpour with a lad I barely even knew. My Romeo. Connor. I should have known then what would happen if I didn't pursue what I actually wanted. There is no denying that if I had accepted Connor's help back then that I wouldn't have wasted away with my decency. Let alone mourn over a child that was never even born.

Yet, here I was at twenty one...

Having finally been away from the regret and the repressed memory of what this miscreant put me through. Engaged to a man I loved more than anything in the world. And somehow, I didn't feel guilty for letting Travis kiss me. It was hard to not pain at the longing for his old self but I knew fully well that that burned in the ashes along with our child. Either way, this kiss was staged. Travis planted this seed on purpose.

He came onto me.

But then the knife came to his lips again like an unsung melody calving holes in its own silence. Travis rebuked, "I know that you still love me Gwen." That's how I knew that this wasn't over. I couldn't help but shudder at the knowledge of what was written in that letter. That preposterous letter!

I didn't even know at the time that I was being blackmailed into anything. Naive and gullible bigoted Gwen. I was wrong to trust him.

He wouldn't let this go. I panicked. I didn't know what to do. Then he mentioned the ring. Christ, how did he know about that?

He wasn't meant to see. I only took it off so that he wouldn't suspect that I was seeing anyone. If he knew that I was seeing someone...

If he knew about Connor...

I knew that Travis was capable of blackmail but to continue it for this long was disgusting, pitiful even for a worthless wrench like him. I felt myself crumble, "Travis I can't-"

But he cut me off. Mimicking me like he did when we were young, "Yes you can. You can do anything you want." And then that smile. That false hope smile. Its bickering flash of fiery fangs.

Instantly I prayed for a way out.

I had to kiss him.

It was the only way. The thought repulsed me and made me bleed with guilt. I was so thankful that Connor was upstairs incapable of seeing this – I wouldn't be able to explain the reasoning to him if he did.