My love]] Ronnie Radke

Chapter Twenty

  I woke up suddenly having to run to the bathroom. I was in there for a few minutes. I hadn't eaten anything, I didn't think there was anything left. I got up and brushed my teeth, rinsing it out. I walked back into the room and saw Ronnie awake.
  "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up." I told him sitting on the bed.
  "It's fine, babe. Are you alright?" He asked with a look of concern on his face.
  "Yeah yeah... I'm fine." I told him.
  "Cass, we need to talk about something. We... Are you on birth control?" He asked.
  "Not anymore. It was messing with my system and I couldn't be on anything till my next period." I told him.
  "Ok. We haven't been using anything." He said moving closer to me.
  "No, I... I can't be pregnant. I can't." I told him. Oh, God.
  Taking a hold of my hand, he kissed the back of it. "Let's just call a doctor, go in and see, ok? It can't hurt anything." He said running his fingers  along my face. I nodded and got up to go call the doctor. I got an appointment in an hour so we got up to get ready to go. I was panicking, what if I was pregnant? What if I wasn't? Would he happy or not? Would he stay? I looked at him, wanting to ask him but no words would come out.
  We walked out to his car and drove to the doctors. He held my hand the whole way there. Squeesing it every now and then to let me know he was there. We pulled up to the office and I was shaking. I wasn't sure what I wanted and it terrified me. Once we got of the car, he interlaced our fingers together and I smiled at him.
  We walked in the office and up to counter. I got checked in and went to sit down to wait for the nurse. Ronnie slipped his arm around my shoulder and we waited. Suddenly the door opened.
  "Cassie." The nurse said. I grabbed Ronnie's hand and walked over to her. "Hi Cassie." She said. "We will just go to room one." She said leading the way. Once we were in the room, I sat on the table and he stood next to me.
"What are you here for?" She asked me.
  "I need a pregnancy test." I told her. She nodded her head and wrote something in the chart. She looked at Ronnie.
  "You would be the father?" She asked him.
  "Yes." He said.
  "I just need to take your vitals and then the doctor will be in soon." She told me. She took my blood pressure, pulse, and my temp. She wrote them all down and left with a smile.
  Once she was gone I looked at Ronnie. He was just as nervous as I was. "Ronnie. What are we going to do?" I asked him.
  He ran his down the back of my head. "We just need to see what they say and go from there. It will be alright. I promise." He said.
  I opened my mouth to say something when the door opened.
  "Cassie, hi. It's nice to see you again." My doctor, Shelly, told me. I smiled at her and nodded my head. "It looks like you're here for a pregnancy test, am I right?" She asked.
  "Yes." I told her.
  "Why do you think you need one?" She asked.
  "I haven't been on birth control since the last time I was here. I've been getting sick, my breasts are sore. I'm tired all the time." I told her.
  "Ok. I need you to go pee in this cup. Once you're done, put it in the little door and come back and we will have it tested." She handed me the cup and I walked to the bathroom and did what she told me. I stood there for a moment looking at myself. Imaging for a moment that I was pregnant. I was a little hopeful, I would love to have a family but I didn't think it was the right time. I didn't even know if Ronnie and I were together or not. Or what would happen, or how he would react.
  I made my way back into the room and sat there. I looked at Ronnie and tried to smile, but I couldn't. He got up and stood next to me and kissed my temple. He put his arm around me and I leaned into him. I needed his strength and his warmth.
  The door opened and Shelly walked back in. "I have the results. You are indeed pregnant. Almost six weeks a long." She said. It happened that first time, I thought. "By my calculations, your due date is Janurary 2nd." She said. "Now, is it ok to talk freely with him in here?" She asked me looking at Ronnie.
  "Yes, he is the father." I told her.
  "Ok. Considering what happened with your last pregnancy, we will be monitoring you a lot more closely. That means more appointments then the average patient and possibly bed rest. I know you're a dancer, but you need to take it easy. No jumping, leaping, rolling on your stomach. No leaving the city without being checked first." She said. "If you do all of these things, there shouldn't be a problem but there's always a chance for a miscarriage again. I just want you to know that going in." She said. She gave me some papers with instuctions and my next appointment date. She also gave me some prenatal vitamins and told me to make sure that I am taking them everyday.
  We left and drove back to my house in silence. We didn't say a word to each other. He didn't hold my hand, he didn't touch me. This isn't a good sign I thought. We got to the house and I started to open the door. "Look," I told him. "You don't have to come in. You don't have to do anything. I know you're getting ready to leave and I know the timing couldn't be more wrong." I said.
  "Cassie, don't." He said shaking his head. 
  "I'm giving you an out. Right now. I won't be mad. I will take care of everything. You won't be bothered."
  He just looked at me and got out of the car, slamming the door. I got out and followed him into the house. "Ronnie-" I started and he cut me off.
  "I don't know why you would even think that I wouldn't want this baby. Or that I would actually just walk away leaving you alone." He said venomsly.
  "You're leaving, for the summer. I don't even know what we are anymore. I didn't think you'd want the burden." I told him.
  "Burden? You are not a burden and neither is this baby. You get that?" He asked. "Yes, I am leaving but I will be back and I will be here when it's born, Cassie." He said.
  I just looked at him. I thought he would take the out, but I was hoping he wouldn't. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that." I told him turning my back to him.
  He walked up behind me and put his arms around my waist. I closed my eyes as the tears fell. "As for us," he said softly. "You know what I want baby. I want you, I want you even more now." He said resting his hands on my stomach. "You just need to figure out what you want." He said as he kissed my neck. I slowly turned around in his arms and looked at him. How could I not want him?
  I stood on my tipytoes and kissed him softly. One of his hands sneaked around my waist and the other made its way into my hair. We both smiled into the kiss and I knew that I was making the right choice.