My love]] Ronnie Radke

Chapter Six

After driving to the house, we both parked and headed inside. I unlocked the door and let him in.

"The place looks the same." He said looking
around. "I've missed living here with you." He said turning to look at me.

"Do you want anything?" I asked, walking in to kitchen.

"You, Cassie. Just you." He said. He was standing right behind me. He slowly leaned down and kissed my neck.

"Ronnie, stop" I said reluctantly moving away.

"Alright, so what did you want to tell me?" He asked.

"Ummm.... when you left, I was going to go to New York. I decided that I couldn't stay in this house anymore and if you didn't want me, why am I staying here waiting for you to come home?"

"Cass-"

"Just let me finish." I told him and he nodded. "I packed up all my stuff and I even went there. Picked out a really cute apartment for myself. I thought it might be a good thing, a fresh start. A couple of days before I was suppose to be leaving, I was getting really sick. Raquel had this crazy notion that maybe I was pregnant." I stopped talking and looked at him. He was just staring at me, shocked.  "Of course," I continued. "I thought she was crazy. We were always really careful. You had tours coming up, a new record. You didn't have time for a baby then. So to shut her up I took a test."

"And?" He asked, sitting down.

"I was pregnant." I told him.

"Why the hell didn't you ever tell me? I would have been there, Cassie." He yelled.

"I tried. I called you a couple times. Text you, begging you to call me. I didn't want to leave a message. And I didn't want someone else telling you." I said, tears glistening in my eyes. "So I called the school in New York and told them and they didn't want me to come. They couldn't have a new teacher coming there pregnant to have to be gone in a few months anyways." I told him.

Ronnie got up and walked to stand in front of me. "I should have called you back. I remember the calls, the texts. I just thought you were trying to talk me into coming home." He admitted. "What happened? I don't see a baby here." He said looking around.

"I was shocked. I didn't know what to do. I started planning. The due date was ironically on your birthday." I told him. "I was about 5 months pregnant, had just gotten home from being at Osma's. We had a bbq that day and everyone was there." I smiled remembering how everyone would rub my belly. "I took a shower and went to bed, I was so tired. Sometime in the middle of the night, I woke up. I just knew something wasn't right." I stopped and took a deep breath. Ronnie grabbed my hand and led me to the couch. Instead of pulling me down next to him, he pulled me onto his lap. "I turned on the light and moved the blankets. There was so much blood." I said, crying now. Remembering how awful it was that I was alone. How scared I was, and how much I hated Ronnie for not being there.

"What happened?" He asked, wiping my tears away.

"I called an ambulance and they came and took me to the hospital. I called Osma and Raquel. There wasn't anything the doctors could do. It just happens they say. All I could think, is how I lost you all over again." I buried my face in my hands and cried. Cried like I haven't cried before.

He held me and cried with me. Telling me how sorry he was. It was really comforting having him hold me again.

"After I got out, I came home. Started teaching here again. I was going to sell the house. But I just couldn't." I told him wiping his tears now. "This was where that baby was made, where it would have lived, and where we loved each other the most. I couldn't do it." I told him, with a little smile.

He grabbed my face in his hands. "I want to know why you thought I wouldn't want you when you told me about this." He stated.

"I just thought you would blame me for it. Like I do." I told him.

"Baby, it wasn't your fault. It just wasn't meant to be." He said.

"Like us." I said.

"No. We are meant to be. I was just stupid thinking I knew what was best for you." He said with a sad smile.

"I just remember being so mad at you. For not being there. I just...."

"You just what, baby?" He asked.

"I just wanted you there. I wanted you to hold me and to tell me that everything was going to be alright. You always made it alright. And I hated you for not being there, even though you didn't even know." I cried.

"I'm here now, Cassie. It will be alright. We will make it alright. You'll see." He told me.

In that moment I believed him. I wanted to be with him again. I wanted all the things we were and the things we could have been. Closing my eyes, I leaned forward and kissed him.