Star Wars: The Rise of Ren ✓

Chapter 40 - Jedi Retreat

Luke marched back to the shuttle, upset and hurt that Naluma had shut him out of her life.

Pilar asked, "Master Luke, how is she?"

He took a deep breath as he became the Jedi Master instead of the hurting husband. He shook his head. "Not good. We're heading back to the academy to pick up some things. Start the pre-flight check." 

He looked around at the main deck, pleased to discover the Padawan had cleaned up the mess. "Thanks for cleaning up. Naahah, close up the shuttle."

Geryl asked with her brow scrunched, "What about Master Fau? She's going to be all right, isn't she?"

"I hope so. Right now, she just needs to rest." He sat in the co-pilot's seat, allowing the blackness of space to bathe him as Pilar launched.

After the Falcon had departed, Ben could not focus. He stared at his food in the dining hall, unable to eat, filled with remorse at the monster he had become. He could not look at his left hand without reliving the horrible moment.

He cleared his dishes and wandered the lodge, lost in thought. When he reached the suite, he knew that the Force had led him there. The coppery tang of blood overwhelmed him, so powerful he could almost taste it.

When he passed through the open hatch, he saw the suite in disarray. The bed was torn apart with the sheets and mattress soaked in blood. As he moved to the refresher, he discovered the uniform on the floor and the blood pooled under it.

He relived what he had done—every moment of it. He felt his cousin die again. He viewed his aunt collapse. It overwhelmed him. He crumpled into a chair and held his head in his hands.

He repeated over and over, "She wasn't supposed to die. I didn't mean to kill her. I'm sorry. Forgive me. What kind of monster have I become?"

After a few hours, he raced around the room. I need to make it right. I need to do something good to make this right—wash out the evil that's in me.

The fifteen-year-old gathered the blood-soaked fabrics. He placed them in a plastic sack and incinerated them in the rubbish pit. He dragged the unusable mattress outside as well and ignited it. The flames crept high into the sky as the black fumes of the burning blood permeated his nostrils.

As the black smoke coated him, he sunk himself into the agony. He let it fuel him. He heard a deep voice come from within the conflagration. "Yes. Never regret that which must come to pass. Let the flames of hatred consume you."

"No! I'm not that creature! Get out of my head. I'm not—"

"You are." 

In a sudden gust of wind, the fire blew out, leaving the half-charred mattress to smolder. 

"I'm not evil! I'm not you! I never wanted this! I'll show you!"

Ben raced inside, pushing confused Padawan to the side. He ran to the supply storage in the basement. The mattresses and the old lodge beds were stacked in the cellar. All were wrapped in plastic protectors. Luxury bedding was stacked in shipping crates in a corner.