The Girl Unnoticed

35. Guilt

Chapter Thirty-Five: Guilt

I felt like a fool.

I couldn't even concentrate on the teacher talking. I let out a sigh and my eyes wandered off to the back of the Chemistry lab. I caught sight of Clarissa Madens but the seat on her left was empty. Which meant he wasn't here again.

Jackson didn't come to school. For two days.

I wringed my hands nervously just from thinking what had happened that day. I could have stopped it. I could have prevented the fight from happening if I did something. But I didn't. I always mess up. It was as if my voice had betrayed me and my heart was caught in my throat. I couldn't do anything. I panicked and made things worse. My heart felt heavy with guilt ever since I watched him leave to the principal's office.

No one told me anything but I suspect Jackson was suspended from school for a few days. I didn't know what happened in the principal's office that day and both Austin and Jackson didn't say a word about it. But luckily, Austin wasn't suspended or the guilt on my shoulders would have weighed me down to the floor. I wasn't sure if he received any punishments though. I could ask him but I didn't know how to start a conversation without feeling awkward and guilty in front of him.

Even though he's my lab partner and just beside me, I guess my cowardice to start a conversation is much stronger than usual. I was watching Mr Gabe's lips move without actually listening when I felt Austin tap on my arm. Guess I didn't have to be the conversation starter after all.

"Hey, Leighton.." he talked softly beside me as Mr Gabes continued to drone on and on about gases and chemicals. "Are you alright? You don't look well."

I turned my head to the side to face him. His brown hair was cutely messy as usual and I couldn't help but notice how his maroon button-up shirt brought out the green in his eyes. His head was tilted slightly to the left waiting for my reply.

"Uh yeah, I'm fine. Just a little..." I said, trailing off. God, what can I say? A little frustrated? A little stressed?

"A little guilty?" Austin asked.

Heck no. More like guilty as hell.

"Lei..." he said in a serious voice that sent chills to my body, "Are you still thinking about the incident? Look, none of this is your fault. You're not responsible for the consequences at all so don't feel bad about it okay? He deserved it anyway for treating you like one of his—"

"No!" I blurted out quickly. Austin seem a little stunned by this and his eyebrows rose questioningly. I felt my cheeks warm.

"I mean.. Jackson's not like that," I continued. "He's not that kind of person who would treat me like that. He's..." I paused for a while. Could I say he's my friend?

"He's a friend," Austin finished for me. But the way he said it was with a tone full of unfriendliness.

I dropped my gaze to the table. Honestly, I didn't know what to say about Jackson. Is he even counted a friend to me? I don't even know what I am to him. But saying he's a friend to me felt...odd because last time I checked, friends don't go kissing each other. Twice.

I heaved another frustated sigh and lifted my head when Mr Gabes shouted, "Alright, start your experiments right now. I'll be evaluating each group throughout the whole session."