Hallelujah

chapter forty-two

We walked back to the casino in a silence that was both awkward and comfortable at the same time. There was obvious tension because we both knew that Brendon wasn't actually okay with the friend thing, but we also were extremely grateful that we were back in each other's life. We walked in and immediately were greeted by Dallon and Hannah. Hannah looked pale and she ran to me quickly.

"Where the heck have you been? I've been calling you!" she slurred her words. It was clear she had had one too many drinks. "Oh hi Brendon!" she said excited.

"Wait, are you guys," Dallon asked pointing between us.

I shook my head frantically and Brendon just looked down at his feet.

"No, no we're just friends," I said trying my best to end the conversation for the sake of both mine and Brendon's hearts.

"Friends, funny concept," she said giggling. She stumbled towards me giving me a hug. "I'm so drunk," she tried whispering but instead it came out more of an announcement and she turned a few heads.

"Thanks for leaving me with her; she's impossible to keep up with," Dallon said rolling his eyes. "Why are two soaking wet?"

"It's raining," Brendon said shortly. It was the first thing he had said since he told me he was alright with the "just friends" thing.

"Is it really!?" Hannah asked excitedly.

"Yeah," I started but before I could finish my sentence she was sprinting out the doors.

"Not again," Dallon said under his breath. "Well Patrick and Ryan are somewhere in here and Pete's in the room. Knock before you go in. If you'll excuse me I have a drunk girl to chase through Las Vegas," he said as he ran after her.

I watched as Hannah unskillfully ran through the crowd of people tripping over her own feet after every step. Dallon wasn't as fast as I thought he would be but he had long legs so I knew eventually he would catch her.

I turned back to Brendon.

"Well they're having fun," I said laughing a little.

"Pete must be having fun too," he said smiling a bit. It was nice to see that smile. It wasn't exactly the same as he used to give me but it was at least something.

"We should probably find Patrick and Ryan," I said scanning the herd of people gambling their lives away in front of us.

"You really brought the whole gang with didn't you?" he said shaking his head.

"Of course, I didn't want to go through Vegas alone. I might be an Alex but I think we both know I'm not that good at being Alex yet," I laughed. "Let's go."

"Um, I kind of want to change into something that isn't sticking to places no clothes should ever be sticking to first?" he said.

"Oh, true," I said as I looked down at myself. My dress that used to be only tight at the top was now sticking to every inch of my body and I suddenly felt like a caterpillar smushed into a cocoon. And it wasn't comfortable.

"What floor can I be sending you two to?" the lift man asked. I could tell he was judging our appearances but he shouldn't be the one judging because anyone who gets paid for pressing buttons in an elevator all day isn't exactly worthy of judging.

"Top," I said plainly.

"Are you serious?" he asked rudely.

"I'm sorry should I call your manager in to confirm it?" I asked smirking.

"Um, no of course not; top floor it is," he said frantically pressing the bottom that led to us to the top. Brendon looked at me shocked and leaned over to me.

"The top floor?"

"You have no clue what we had to stay in last night," I said shivering at the memory of the motel.

We reached our floor and I led Brendon to the room. I lifted my arm to open the door but Brendon stopped me quickly.

"Knock," he said. I blushed as I realized I could have just walked in on Pete and the slutty receptionist going at it. I knocked twice and heard shuffling coming towards the door. It opened slowly and Pete poked his head out.

"Oh it's just you," he said unlocking the door and opening it fully. "Holy shit Brendon!" They "bro" hugged and then did a weird handshake type thing before we walked inside. I looked around the room and the only thing I found off about it was the fact that the TV was playing 'The Notebook' and there was a box of Kleenex on the bed.

"You know I was really worried I was going to walk in on you and that front desk chick going at it but it turns out I was just going to walk in on you crying over a chick flick," I laughed pointing to the screen.

"Shut up, it's a good movie okay?" he said quickly shutting off the movie and picking up his crumpled tissues. Brendon and I shook our heads and I grabbed my bag off the bed.

"Well I'm going to change. You two probably have some catching up to do anyways."

I collected my clothes and locked myself in the bathroom. I almost jumped when I saw my face and hair in the mirror. It was a mix of the joker and Queen Elizabeth in my reflection. I grabbed a towel and soaked it in warm water and while it was soaking I brushed out my rat's nest of hair that used to have perfect curls and tied it into a bun. A few strands fell out but I honestly didn't even care anymore. After wiping off as much makeup as I could with the rag I changed into my joggers and a purple knit sweater. I was that person who didn't care if it was 90 degrees out; it was Nevada it's not fair that just because it always hot means I can't wear cute sweaters. I'm going to do what I want.

I could hear Brendon and Pete talking from behind the closed door and me being the nosey bitch I am of course I tried my best to listen in on their conversation.

"Wait so you're just friends? And you're okay with that?" Pete asked.

"Of course I'm not okay with it, but you and I both know I can't just drop her out of my life. I need her; even if it's just as a friend."

"Brendon I think we both know that the friends after a relationship thing never works out."

"I know but I have to try at least. This girl is the most important thing to me and I can't let her leave me all together," Brendon said. He sounded choked up on his words and it made me hate myself slightly.

"Well I think if you just give her time this will all pass and there might be a small chance that in the future you and her can look past this all and go back to whatever the hell you were doing," Pete said laughing a bit.

"I just want to kiss her, and I can't," Brendon said sadly. It was quiet for a bit and I wasn't sure if it was because they started whispering or if they had just cut the conversation. I contemplated coming out yet but then I heard Brendon. "I'm going to grab a smoke. Let me know when she's ready to head down." The doors to the balcony slid open and closed so I unlocked the door and walked out. I played it off like I hadn't heard them.

"I looked terrible, why didn't you guys tell me?" I joked.

"Alex you never look terrible," Pete said giving my arm a little shove.

"Whatever," I said rolling my eyes. "So are you two ready to go find our dearest Patrick and Ryan?" I asked nodding towards Brendon who was leaning over the railing looking lost in his thoughts.

"He'll be ready in a bit," he said. I hung my wet dress up in hopes that it would be dry by the morning and Pete stayed quiet. "So you and him are really just friends?"

"I just can't have a relationship with him right now. It would be too hard for me to fully work myself out if I let him in like I did before all this shit went down. I just need a friend, I need to know he's still the same Brendon and that it all wasn't an act," I said honestly.

"That makes sense," he paused. "But I can promise you that it wasn't an act."

Before I could say anything else Brendon walked in and gave me a warm smile. "Ready?"

Pete and I both nodded and we headed to the Casino together.