Hallelujah

chapter one

SONG: "Ribs (Ryan Hemsworth Remix)" - Lorde  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V4OEsqBmeh0

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"Alexandria, stop your slouching! That's no way for a proper lady to sit in the house of the Lord," my mother scolded me. I immediately did as she said and sat up straight, I tugged at my dress making sure it still covered my knees. We sat in the third pew on the left of our church; I let my eyes wander around the walls looking for something that was ever so slightly off. I had been going to this church every Sunday since I could remember.

I hate to say I was forced to be here but to be honest I was. It's not that I didn't like church, I believed in God. I knew the bible was true and I followed all of his rules and guidelines completely with everything I had. My mother on the other hand took it to the next level. She placed me in a bubble where she technically brainwashed me into thinking that the entire male gender was only out for sex. They only wanted to take girls and make them theirs for a short period of time then spit them out like an old piece of gum that had lost all it's flavor. I understood where she was coming from due to the fact that that is what my father did to her. She struggled so long to get over him, that's when the whole church thing started I guess. I don't remember much before that though. It's not really important. She really does care about me. I know it. She monitors my life and at times tries to control it, and as much as I love her, I can't help but wonder what it would be like to have a change. To feel the rush of doing something she would never approve of. I couldn't help but think of what it would be like to break the rules for once. What would it be like if I could walk through the school hallways and not be looked at as a 'goody two shoes'? But that transformation takes time and there was no way it would happen any time soon.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the sermon starting, I tried my hardest to pay attention but I let my eyes scan through the people sitting around me. A young boy wearing black skinny jeans and a grey hoodie caught my eye, real nice of him to dress up for church. I had never seen him before, I watched as he slowly walked out of the church doors and into the main hallway, quietly closing the doors behind him. I turned my eyes back to Pastor Dan but my mind stayed focused on the boy, who was he? Why was he skipping out on church? If my mother would have seen she would have considered it illegal.

"And I pray that you bless each and every one of these people as we embark on the week ahead of us," Pastor Dan prayed.

"Amen," the whole church said in unison. My sister and I stood up and followed my mother outside of the church. She started talking to Mrs. Grayson, an elderly woman who lives for gossip. Hypocrite, I know right.

"Did you hear what the pastor's son did this time?" she said giddily. My mother immediately gave her all of her attention and shooed me away. I slowly walked away making sure I could hear a little about him.

"He was caught smoking pot in the school hallways," she said and my mother almost fell over. I rolled my eyes and walked to the side of the church in search of shade to save me from burning under the hot Nevada sun.

As I leaned my head against the wall I thought back to the boy in the church. The mysterious boy I had never seen before. Maybe it was because he had never been there; maybe it was just because I was never looking for something different.

I heard some faint music coming from behind the church building. I walked slowly towards the sound making sure to remain as quiet as possible.

"I chimed in with haven't you people ever heard of, closing the god damn door," a voice sang. I gasped when I heard him use the Lord's name in vain and quickly threw my hand over my mouth.

"Hello?" the voice called. I turned my head around the corner and to my surprise I saw a boy, he had a cigarette in one hand and a guitar in the other, he wore the same grey hoodie and black jeans from inside. In front of me sat the mysterious boy who occupied my mind more than God did today.

"Real nice way to honor the Lord," I said sarcastically.

"Who are you and what the hell are you doing here?" he asked standing up. He had dark brown hair that complemented his big brown eyes. He was a little taller than me and he looked like the kind of kid you would meet in detention.

"My name is Alexandria and I am here to learn about Jesus, it is Sunday." I said, he laughed and walked towards me.

"Listen Alex, if you came back here to preach to me, you can save it. I don't give a shit," he said blowing a puff of smoke into my face.

"Alexandria," I corrected him. "And I didn't, I just heard you singing."

"Nice to meet you Alex," he said holding out a hand. I reluctantly took his hand but as I shook it he pulled me down so I was sitting on the ground uncomfortably close to him. I fixed my dress making sure I still looked church appropriate and stared at him confused. He took the cigarette out of his mouth and put it out against the church walls. It seemed to be something he did a lot due to the tiny marks that made a constellation of ash.

"Want one?" he said holding out a box of cigarettes.

"Are you kidding me? That's disgusting," I scoffed.

"Suit yourself," he laughed. We sat quietly and I watched as he lit up his second cigarette. I looked at him curiously and studied him. "Looking for something?" he said.

"What?" I asked.

"You're staring," he said. I turned my face away and blushed but he just laughed. "So Alexandria you seem to live the life. Church every Sunday, no cussing, you're still a virgin I'm assuming," he said. I felt extremely uncomfortable, not because he seemed to know me so well. No, I felt uncomfortable because he was right. I stayed silent. "So basically, you're a goody goody church girl." He said it more of a statement and I felt my blood boil. I hated it, that name.

There were so many things I wanted to say to this boy, I wanted to hate him so much, but I couldn't help but wonder what it was like to live like him. I still didn't even know him. I didn't even know his name or why he was here. I didn't understand why I was so interested in him but I was. He played around with his guitar totally ignoring the fact that I was still there.

I heard footsteps coming from behind and I stood up quickly. I knit my eyebrows together when I saw Pastor Dan. The boy set his guitar down and stood up slowly.

"Brendon," he started but he stopped when he saw me. Brendon where have I heard that before? At school? At home? I couldn't quite put my finger on it but I knew the name.

"I loved the sermon today!" I said breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Dad, this is Alexandria" the Brendon boy spoke up, my eyes went wide. Brendon? Dad? Pastor Dan? The pastor's son?

"Um, nice to meet you Miss Alexandria," he said, I nodded.

"You too, but I really should be getting back to my mother," I said turning away quickly.

"Bye Alex! I'll see you around!" Brendon called after me.

"Alexandria," I yelled back, without turning around.

The car ride home was quiet except for my mother's ramblings on all of the gossip she got from Mrs. Grayson. Usually I would be interested but my mind was focused on Brendon. I didn't regret meeting him but I did. I can't get involved with a guy like him. Not the Pastor's son. Then again, Brendon could be what I need to change who I am. Brendon could be the change I had been begging for for years.