Smosh one shots (REQUESTS CLOSED)

CourtneyXMattXMari

Ohhh triple ship now motherf*ckers!
I'm sorry. This is a very vile chapter and something that is not at all like my other writing. You'll be surprised, I swear it. Definitely should put a warning here however there is no actual smut in this. I'd say sorry but I don't think Smoshers on this platform really care for it. Hmm.

"This was stupid to bring up," Matt sighed. He leaned on his arm as he laid on his side. He, Mari and Courtney were all hanging out together at Mari's place.
"Shut up we almost have it," Mari spat. Matt chuckled.
Courtney had a bra on and pyjama pants. She and Mari were standing beside Mari's bed that Matt was laying on, planning.
"It's never going to work. We just go until we get tired or something."
"That sounds vile," Courtney noted, still watching Mari.
"Then logic is vile," Matt said without missing a beat.
"Yeah whatever. There's plenty of variables to consider. I don't think we should do it," Mari gave in. She plopped down beside Matt.
"You brought it up and planned it a week," Courtney sighed, grabbing her own shirt.
"You guys were intent on it," Mari shot back.
"In theory, if we did do it, you think we'd be new people?"
"Probably not unless either one of us is emotionally or romantically invested in another," Courtney said.
"Say, are either of you emotionally or romantically invested in me? And that's why you were going to do the threesome? The one chance you'd get to have the sex with me-"
"Oh yes, I am so emotionally invested in you Matty, why don't you see that I'm here and ready to have...What did you say? The sex?" Mari said sarcastically. Matt laughed.
"You wish. I thought it was gonna be fun. Just an experience so that I can say I tried it," Courtney said.
"Ouch," Matt uttered. He leaned his back on Mari's bed frame. "So you were talking about variables before? What variables would deter us and our fun times?"
"You're such a fucking loser," Courtney chuckled at his vocabulary.
"You seem to be into it," Matt glared at her.
"What if someone comes and hears us? What if the phone rings and then we'll sound out of breath? What if the bed breaks and we have to explain what happened? What if we find out we've been in love with each other and this changes our lives?"
"Jeez Rick, you're overthinking. We just lie," Matt shrugged.
"Yeah, if someone hears, then we can't get out of that one. But if the phone rings...Just don't answer it," Courtney explained.
"That's right, if the bed breaks, say it you were doing it with just one of us. If we fall in love just pretend you didn't. Simple as that," Matt said jokingly.
"Because lying about being in love is oh so easy," Courtney muttered. Matt turned to her.
"Do you have something to share to the class Miller?"
"Maybe Sohinki. Remember Topp?"
"Oh my God Mill, I thought you were over that-"
"I am over that, I am just saying it was hard-"
"But you did it. Why are you acting so-"
"Why are we using last names now?" Mari interrupted. The other two seemed to fume at each other. "You two bicker a lot. That's right, I said bicker. Do you two have the hots for each other? Was I going to be that annoying person in the threesome that the others don't really care for? Should I go?"
"Don't go. Are we doing this or not?" Courtney turned to her. Mari grinned.
"I thought we said no. Let's order Chinese food and watch Netflix," Matt got off the bed to grab his jacket and phone.
"Hey, the door is right there if you're not in," Courtney pointed. Matt laughed and dropped his stuff.
"Am I the annoying third wheel in this threesome?" Matt asked. "Should I leave?"
"Not at all. We just have to figure it out," Mari stood up again. Courtney and Matt groaned.
"Be honest, have you dreamed of this?" Matt teased Courtney.
"Oh of course. In plenty of different positions too Sohin, are you flexible?" Courtney said sarcastically. She narrowed her eyes.
"I bet I can last longer than you in whatever position," Matt bargained.
"Oh you're on Matthew. I bet I can go on longer all night," Courtney challenged.
"Please. You'll be begging later on Miller."
"Back to last names," Mari inputed. The two looked up to her.
"I bet Mari's going to say I was better tomorrow," Matt grinned to Courtney.
"I can make her scream, bitch."
"I can make her finish."
"She won't have to pretend to finish with me Sohinki. Looks like you're going to see an actual climax tonight-"
"Oh my god guys, I get you two have known each other for longer, but this is getting too weird," Mari interrupted. Matt and Courtney started to laugh.
"So did you make plans yet?" Courtney asked.
"Who's going first?" Matt asked after.
"Are we doing a basic position first?"
"Are we jumping right in?"
"Do we need music?"
"Can I turn off the lights?"
"Should we make out?"
"Should we order a pizza for when Courtney gets kicked out?"
"Can we kick him out now?"
"Should we play Netflix in the back?"
"Should we get another person?"
"Are you even okay with doing it with a girl?"
"Should I take my shirt off again?"
"You two are crazy!" Mari exclaimed. All three bursted out laughing at how ridiculous the situation is. Mari laid down in between her two friends.

"So are we really going to do this?" Mari asked to no one in particular. They had stopped laughing a few minutes ago and stared at the roof in silence. Awkward silence as there was still a threesome to address.
"Do you still want to do it?" Matt countered. The other two mumbled in confirmation. Matt also agreed silently.
"Well let's start then."
"How do we start?"
"Courtney take your shirt off again."
"Who's going first?"
Courtney was once again without a top as Mari and Matt tried to make a game plan.
"Oh for fucks sakes," Courtney grumbled as she grabbed the sides of Mari's face.
Matt looked away sheepishly as his two friends kissed beside him.
"Okay, just to be sure, you didn't feel anything there? It's not going to be weird?" Courtney asked.
"No but it's a good idea to check," Mari turned to Matt and pulled him forward.
Courtney wiped her mouth and also sat quietly for a second not to disturb the two.
"Oh wow I can see my future now, Mari, I love you," Matt said without emotion. Mari rolled her eyes and motioned between the two.
"Wha-Why'd you take your shirt off. Well now it looks like you have to go first," Matt started to jokingly argue about.
"Shut it Sohinki."

"Okay who's going first?" Matt asked as he wiped his mouth with his arm.
"You know what, if we're all forty and not married, we should all marry each other. We'll be a polygamy couple but, then we can have these awkward conversations then."
"Did Matt's lips make you drunk?" Mari asked.
"No, I'm just in the mood for marriage," Courtney shrugged. Mari turned to Matt.
"What's on your lips?"
"Should we be doing this if she wants to get married?"
"No I mean it, promise, if we're not married when we're forty, that's what we'll do. We'll marry and then have threesomes every night. Or until Matt's bones break because he can't keep up-"
"Smooth Courtney. Real smooth. I'm down for marriage at forty."
"Okay, whatever. Deal. You're both going to be Mr. and Mrs. Takahashi and we'll live in a studio apartment because we're too lazy to change our subscriptions to magazines. Enough about the future, let's talk about tonight."
"I don't want to be a Takahashi. And I'm out if we live in a studio," Matt put his hands up in a surrender.
"Well when we're forty, Courtney's going to have to choose between you and I because I am not being a Sohinki. And Mari Miller sounds weird-"
"I don't wanna choose, I want to marry both of you," Courtney whined.
"Well we can be TakaMillKi's then. Matt TakaMillKi, Courtney TakaMillKi and Mari TakaMillKi," Matt compromised.
"Or what about TakaHinLers?"
"Or MilHinAhashi."
"Or SoMillAhashi."
"Or SoTakaLers."
"Okay I get it! Our last names can be merged a few different ways. But I'll only accept TakaMillKi!" Matt exclaimed.
"It has the word milky in it though," Mari noted. Courtney laughed.
"Why don't we merge our first names? I don't wanna be a Taco Milky."
"So Mar...CourMattRi?"
"Hey, you only included the 'Ri' in my name while you both got the start!"
"And I don't wanna be Courtney CourMattRi anyway-"
"Then let's just be TakaMillKi's then."
"Fine. But when our kids get bullied because it, they're talking to you!"
"Shit that's right, what if it doesn't fit with our children's names?"
"Our children?"
"Well let's plan now. I like the name Jeremy."
"Well I want a Matt Jr."
"Matt Junior? Try Matthew Junior because that sounds better.
"Matthew Junior TakaMillKi?"
"Wait, if we have a Jeremy TakaMillKi, his nickname would be Jeremilky-"

"Guys! We're off topic! Let's do the sex now or order out because I don't wanna hungry, and thirsty at the same time."
Mari started to laugh.
"How do you think Matthew Junior TakaMillKi is going to feel when we say we came up with his name when we were having a threesome?"
Courtney laughed at her sentence.
"I already pity the children. Yeah whatever, we're going first, play the music. Matt if you get tired or bored waiting-"

Guys I am losing my mind.
This was just for fun because I like making characters bicker to each other and I thought this scenario was fun to toy around with. Also, first threeway ship? Woteva if you liked it, comment and lemme know what ships you want me to make next and I'm striving for a longer chapter next! Goodnight and goodmorning!