Bad boys do it better

Chapter 21

The girls and I stayed up most of the night, talking about my day with Kyle Queen, gossiping, eating popcorn and binge-watching stupid TV-shows. I told them almost everything that happened between us, including the kiss, and they reacted exactly as I expected. Mia shrieked and started freaking out, while Chris almost choked on her popcorn. After saving her from horrendous death she managed to choke out "Seriously? You lucky bitch!"

I did let out a small part of the day, the part when he lost control and almost hit me. I didn't know why, but I didn't feel like telling them about that, because I didn't know what was it about, but it seemed like something personal, and I was curious to find out. I was also uncomfortable with girls knowing about that, because I knew they would treat him differently if they knew how fast he can lose control.

I was still mad at him, don't get me wrong. I was afraid because he snapped at me like that, furious because he got me in that mess and left me there alone, and treated me with disrespect.

At the end of the night, after analyzing, talking and going through everything that has happened – because that's just what girls do, apparently – Chris and Mia came to a realization I should continue 'seeing him'. I was still in doubt whether I actually wanted to. His aggressive actions really got to me and I was afraid to think if just the small comment made him freak out like that, how can he become when something really pisses him off. Plus, I didn't know if he wanted anything to do with me, either. We did only spend one day together and we basically didn't know anything about each other.

Even after Chris and Mia fell asleep in the morning, I couldn't. The comments Kyle made about me were spiraling inside my head and I couldn't stop thinking about it. I didn't know how he knew all of that. And the more I thought of it, the more I realized he was right about me, about the things I'd never really thought about.

And that terrified me. Because now he was the one single person who managed to read me, the real me. My wishes, thoughts, everything I'd kept hidden in a perfect little bubble, separated from everything else, in order to keep it hidden. In order to convince myself that I am who others want me to be. Who my mom wanted me to be. The perfect girl, smart, loyal, good, educated, well-mannered. And mostly boring.

But with Kyle, my real personality came bursting out of me, my rebellious, wild side, who wanted to explore, take risks, travel, and to simply not give a fuck anymore.

The more I kept thinking about that, the more I wanted out of that shiny bubble called my life. I wanted to set myself free, because what I was living in for 18 years wasn't freedom. It was an imprisonment, where the borders were set by others, and where your opinion didn't matter, as long as you were like them. As long as you didn't stand out.

But I wanted to stand out.

I wanted out.

~~~

"Are you ready?" asked Mia excitedly and I sighed as I turned off the car. We just parked in front of the school and were getting ready for our 'big show,' as Mia and Chris liked to call it. They convinced me to take my car, black matte Maserati, which I hated driving to school, because it attracted too much attention. But they insisted it would go good with my 'bad girl image.'

They also did my hair and make-up this morning, and prepared an outfit for me, because apparently I'm so incompetent I can't do that on my own.

They did do a good job though, I must give them some credit. They combed my hair but then made it look like it was messy. They didn't apply too much make up, only emphasized my blue eyes in order to stand out, and colored my lips in a matte color.

Thankfully it was still warm, so I could wear high-waisted ripped jeans, a scarlet crop top and a short leather jacket, combined with aviator ray-bans, black Michael Kors bag and black high heels. (I'll post the picture tomorrow!)