Ross.

28.

She looked in my eyes, sadly. And with every second she did, I got sadder as well.

Laura slowly took her hand away and looked down short, "Ross..I can imagine that this hurt you deeply, but this whole bad boy image? you're much better than this, and you know it."

I tried hard to stay cool and annoyed, but no, i couldn't. I didnt have the strength. I was freaking hurt.

"You dont know me, Laura." I answered quietly.

"Yes Ross, i do. I do know you. I might even know you better than you know yourself. Why cant you be you? Why do you gotta pretend to be someone youre not?"

Lauras voice was soft and i didnt hear such a caring tune in a long while. It had such a calming effect on me, it was incredible.

I sighed lightly, "This is who i am. I became this boy...just that its hard being him when im around you. I tried to not believe in this. I tried to stop thinking about you. It worked sometimes, but not enough."

"Im sure, there is something you wanna show others. You wanna show them youre not weak. That nothing can break your hard shell. But thats the thing about shells, on the inside there's something as beautiful as diamonds. And with you. its your soul and your real character." Laura smiled light and looked at her shoes a second before looking in my eyes again. I couldnt lay them off her to be honest.

"This boy who sat down next to me when i was crying. the boy who cheered me up. This is you, Ross. This is the real you."

I shook my head and looked away now because i was hurting and i was so embarrassed, "what about the boy who broke your heart, huh?! what about him? what about the boy who told you your parents aren't coming back? This was also me, Laura!" I was sad but mad at the same time and got a little bit louder saying this, but i calmed again and whispered, "This was also me." I repeated.

"You wanna know the truth? fine you get it. Im completely fucking honest with you. Now and here." I continued and took a quite breath, "I was being like this to you because i was afraid as shit to feel like this again. I didnt wanna open up to someone because i knew it only would cause pain. It does everytime. But fuck it, Laura. Ive never felt this way towards someone except Claire. And even tho i hate myself to admit it. I like you and your stupid messy hair in the morning. Or the bodyscent of you. Or how you make breakfast for my family. I like you very much. I just dont wanna get hurt again. And i know, oh yes i know that this is selfish b-"

"that isn't selfish, Ross." She cut me off before i could finish my sentence. I couldn't believe what i just said to her, and that when i told myself i hated her and didnt wanna see her for weeks now, i totally lied to myself.

"It is okay to be afraid. Trust me, i am too. Im afraid to lose you. And i dont wanna lose you. Not again... Let us start over, Ross. We are so young, we have so much time left on this cruel planet. Let us enjoy it."

I thought about what she was saying and after a while, i just nodded. It felt good to finally let it all out. "But how could this get normal? I am used to ignore you and i cant just start a relationship with someone i wanted to hate 1 hour ago!"

Laura smiled lightly again and kissed my cheek for a few seconds before leaning back. "step by step, okay? We could start with stopping ignoring one another and have little talks sometimes. Let us start as being friends." Laura finished and finally i smiled too.

"fine. friends. nothing more for the beginning." I said and pointed at her with my one finger, "but if you change your choice of waiting for me, please dont date bellamy. Hes an ass."

"I wont change my choice. I chose you when we first kissed. Its been you ever since then."

God, how does the do it? my heart is beating so fast. I wanted to kiss her so badly.

Smiling, i nodded my head, "Goodnight, Laura. Sleep well." That was when i turned around and walked away slowly.

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wow i almost fell asleep writing this again ha coincidence i think not. behcjai

comment fave line pls 🎃

happy halloween fam. ❤️