Chapter Seventeen

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Returning home after two weeks, Holly did not bother to look at Nicholas as she was focused on the land around them. Lush marshes, beautiful skies, and melodic birds that seemed to ease her anxieties. Seemingly decades passed before Holly recognized the scene ahead-hills and gray skies-her home. Feeling the carriage stop, she could feel her heart as well as she knew Dawson would be waiting. She would not know what to say or how to explain everything to him. How could she, when she didn't understand it herself?


Being assisted from the carriage, she arrived on land to find each servant bow to her as if she had been royalty-all but one.

"I believe Dawson is in the armory." Nicholas spoke as Holly gave him a kind grateful smile before allowing her to go see him. Hearing the sharpening wheel spin and seeing sparks dance in the air, she was desperate to see him-to know his thoughts and feelings. When the door shut, he removed his focus from his work and turned to find her standing there with a polite smile.

"Is there something I can do for you?" He asked, almost as if he had been just another servant.

"You can turn to see me..."

"I am very busy...perhaps we can speak later..."

"I am not some-"

"Why are you here? Why even come back?"

"It it complicated..."

"No...it really is not...I will not deny that I can not give you what he can...but do not make me a fool to believe what we felt was better than that. Apparently you ARE the kind of girl who chooses diamonds over love..."

"Circumstances have altered...Him and I have decided to begin again...to place everything behind us..."

"Everything? When he forced himself upon you in the woods? Killed that man at your feet? Or lashed me so deep that I'll bare these scars on my body for my entire life? Everything?" Throwing the sword upon the table, he found tears forming in her eyes. "Why did you write it? Why? It does not make any sense...and I beg for truth..."

"I know how difficult our circumstances have been since you lost your parents and I lost mine...I do not fault you...-"

"What does that have to do with the letter?"

"We are all we have ever had in this wicked life. Perhaps what we felt...was not love...and accepting what we thought it was..."

"Get out."

"What-"

"Get out." Pushing her towards the door, he stopped just before opening it as she spoke of him hurting her. "I cannot stand to see you...I had to pretend and hide the feelings I had for you for nearly twenty years and now that I can have you...you are going to lie to me. I know you understand what we felt...that cave...the way we fell into one another..." His tone was now more calm-not relaxed, but also-not angry.

"I never wished to hurt you-"

"Then what did you expect? You wrote me how everything that happened should be forgotten..but it is not possible. I can feel your nails on my back and your purr in my ear and you ask me to forget that. And not only did I receive a letter of it...I have to fathom the thought of you sleeping beside him each night...knowing what on God's earth he could be doing to you. If you do not want me, then say so-but do not ask me to stay if all that will entail is watching you with him."

Swallowing hard, he kept her just beside the door-his grip still demanding her body to be still.

"I beg you to stop torturing me-" As he intended to express his emotions, she pushed herself against him-crashing her lips against his. For a moment, he pulled her into him, basking in the kiss, before ceasing it. "We have done this before. Same conversation...-"

"I cannot stop thinking of you no matter how hard I try...I have spent the last two weeks tortured with the thoughts of us in that cave...in the ocean...I want you-" A smirk fell over his face midway through this sentence as he turned the lock on the door and pulled the covers to the windows after pulling her in for a deep kiss. Moving her towards the table, he swept it off with one hand before placing her atop the desk. Her fingers moved to his pants before he stopped her.

"Just you." He said quick as she did not completely catch his comment. But within seconds, she then understood his intentions. His hands gently peeled her thighs apart before he kissed up her leg and placed himself between her. Running her hands through his hair, she pulled and tugged as she bit her bottom lip to stay quiet. Groaning and scratching him, she eventually began moaning uncontrollably as her back rested on the wooden surface. Quickly, he slid his hand up her stomach and tried to reach her mouth, but instead rested on her chest.

In fear of being caught, he retreated from pleasuring her to quiet her before being pulled against her. Before he could realize what was happening, his pants were at his knees before he had been placed in a compromising position with her. His mouth fell to her shoulder as he began slowly biting her skin so he was also quiet.

"You are every weakness of mine..." He spoke into her ear as she was thrust once more. Letting out a whine, she responded; "I cannot bare an existence without you beside me." Tossing her hair back, his hand tore at her corset, exposing her chest as he teased and kneaded it as she  pushed him deeper into her.

"You are mine." He said upon gently grabbing her chin as he delivered a kiss to her lips. "Only mine."


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