The Playgirl Parker #Wattys2016

"Fine, are you calling me a complain hourglass?"

"Good morning, Ashley!" I heard Daniel's voice say.

I opened one eye, saw him waving his hands in front of my face, and closed it again. "Good night, Daniel."

"Yeah, right." He muttered, as he tried to pull the blanket off me.

"No! You can't do us apart! We're made for each other!" I cried, sitting up, to keep hold of the blanket.

"You'll forget all about it when you get another one tonight." Daniel said sternly. "Anyways, this needs to be cleaned. God knows what you do with it."

I wiggled my eyebrows. "Uh, no. He doesn't know." I said mysteriously, as I lazily, and 'very very very slowly' got up from my bed.

"Were you masturbating?" He asked stupidly.

I punched his arm. "Only if you call 'practising to kill people like a serial killer by stabbing a blanket with a butcher's knife and then stuffing it with stuff to fill the holes even as I smear paint' masturbating."

"I'd like to call it," he paused for a moment. "Parker-ing."

"Then that's what I was doing." I shrugged.

He smiled wider. "I'm glad to see you be normal again."

"You call this normal?" I made a face. "I have hair like a nest, for the first time in months. I have drool on my cheek, for the first time since I was thirteen. I am wearing a skirt, bralette, and a jacket, to bed for the first time in forever in the history of me being sober. Plus, I have woken up at freakin' seven o'clock on a day after one of the most long and exhausting and somewhat exhilarating and terrifying days ever."

He shook his head. "It's normal, because you're complaining again."

"Are you calling me a complain box?" I asked, furrowing my brow.

"Your do not look like a box, so no." He winked back.

"Fine, are you calling me a complain hourglass?" I asked, smirking a bit.

He chuckled a bit. "Saying yes to that would be gross on a brother's part, and saying no to it would be a lie."

"Have you ever wished you could date someone more like me?" I asked playfully, swinging an arm around his neck.

"Eww, no, ugh, gross! You're my sister! I am not an alien!" He recoiled. "And I like Nora!"

I laughed. "I mean, you so clearly are obsessed with my one-liners!"

"Have I ever wished I could have a sister who's more normal than you?" He asked himself.

"Nope, never, nako, nahin, nyet, no." I sang, in most of the lings I knew.

"Now, hurry up, and get ready, Ashley." He gave me a push.

"Why? Is my audience waiting?" I flipped my hair and smiled.

"Well, considering you mean Aunt and Evelyn by that, yes." He replied, nodding his head. "I might even say, Evelyn's rather excited to meet you."

"Why, exactly?"

"It's a surprise." He smirked this time.

I scrunched my nose disapprovingly.

"Or as Evelyn told me, it's a surpISE." He laughed a bit. "She doesn't speak the second R, and I was too busy laughing to correct her."

"Good, or I won't have got the opportunity to laugh at her, would I?" I smiled, as I pushed Daniel out of my room, and closed the door.