Aubrey (Revolving With Axis)

129: Rafe

129:Rafe

I woke with a start, breathing heavy, having had a dream. I sat up, and held my head. I'd been in the temple, in the baptismal area, and my dad was there—and my brother, Danny. He was there, in the temple, all dressed in white, and his eyes were so accepting, so happy. He was nodding to me, with this super great smile. I scrubbed my palms into my eyes and felt the tears.

"Rafe?"

"I saw Danny, in my dream."

"Your brother?" her voice was muffled, sleepy, trying to comprehend.

"Yeah."

"Oh, Rafe!"

"I know."

"That's so cool."

"I know." I lay back down. My breathing was returning to normal, but I felt cool. Aubrey pulled the blanket up and then scooted her back side closer. I turned on my side and put my arm around her. She laced our fingers.

"This is hard." I said to her, sighing.

"Sleeping together?"

"Without making love, yeah. It's harder every day." I wiggled my thumb against that soft weight. She stopped the thumb. I kissed her back, licked her, and finally tongue kissed her skin, sucking on it tenderly. In true Aubrey fashion, she arched, and then settled into it, loving the new experience, trusting me to take her no higher than we could both handle.

"I can't go back to sleep." I blew on her new hickey, and felt very happy that she would wear it today in Guadalajara.

"I'll get up with you. What time is it? Four?"

"Four-thirty."

"We can get up and go for a walk."

"I think I need some time." I said softly, "To think about my sins, and what we are doing today. You still fasting?"

She had started her fast last night. I couldn't do it before a concert that size. I'd pass out on stage without hydration and nourishment. There was no way to keep up that energy level for two straight hours.

"Um hm."

"I'll fast this morning with you."

"It's a concert day. Maybe better not. You can fast tomorrow."

"I can fast this morning." I said and slid off the bunk. I could hear music coming from Jeremy's bunk, and snoring from Levi's.

I put on my sweats and hoodie over my t-shirt and opened the bus door softly, hoping not to disturb anyone. The night air was refreshing, smelled of the nearby fresh water lake, and the heat off the jungle and forest. I'd been to Guadalajara before. Not to concert, but just as a tourist. I was excited to show Aubrey a few things.

I walked softly, hoping the crunch of my flip flops wasn't too telling. We were not at the venue, which I knew was downtown, in this more modern city, the second largest in Mexico. Tonight we would be staying at a hotel closer to the venue--- tonight and tomorrow night.

I put my head down to the soft interior lake breeze. A bird cried out lonesome, maybe in warning. My fears were clouded by the noise of the silence, and the generators. Where were we?

Outside town somewhere. I could see the lights in the clouds. It glowed, like LA.

I had some serious things to ask myself. The way me and Aubrey were going over controversial subjects, that was the way I needed to ask myself these questions. I understood what the Bishop had said. It was better if you could answer every recommend question perfectly, and believe that you lived by their precepts, but they gave those same questions to twelve year olds, whose experience of life was very limited, and whose journeys were only barely begun. I vaguely recalled my first temple trip when I was twelve. I'd been about four times I thought, and each time I'd answered all the questions perfectly. Do you believe in God?