Aubrey (Revolving With Axis)

111: Rafe

111: Rafe

I cleared my throat. "I'm already a member of the church, Kell, in your opinion, what will happen when and if I decide to go through this process?"

Tecca sat up straighter. "Do you hold the Melchezidek Priesthood?"

I shook my head. "How old were you when you left the church?"

"Sixteen."

"And had you been active your whole life up to that point?"

"More or less."

Tecca swallowed. "It has been my experience that your local leaders will have to make that decision with you. At the very least you will likely go through a disfellowshipment process, which simply means you cannot partake of the sacrament or pay tithing, which disqualifies you then from temple service and holding a calling. This may last anywhere from three months to a year."

I swallowed. "And what if they decide to make an example of me? What if they excommunicate me?"

Tecca closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "That would depend on what you understood about the gospel at the time you committed those sins." He shook his head. "Nobody is going to make an example of you, Rafe."

"I disagree. I think the church is famous for making examples of those who disagree with their policies. You know I oppose some church policies, right? I'm pretty public with my opinions. They will have to make an example of me."

Kell sat forward in his chair, steepling his fingers over his bottle of water. "I am not familiar with all of your occupations, Rafe, but I know you will have to sell your clubs. I had to. I wanted to. Too hard to justify contributing to other's delinquency, when I vow not to do it for myself and my family. I wanted to be a better example on my own. No one will make you do this, however, but you will find that you want to do it on your own."

I glanced at Aubrey. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was even. We were sitting on the ground, so I eased her to my lap, and stroked the long sleeved shirt she wore over her shoulders. She wrapped one arm under and one arm over my leg.

"I'm not selling my clubs."

Kell sucked in his lips and then puckered them thoughtfully. "Okay. What else. It's not that you're worried about."

"Aubrey and I disagree about gay rights."

"Do you actively support gay rights?"

"Yes."

"That might be an issue. You know the LGBT movement actively opposes the church, and traditional marriage?"

"Yes. I've had it explained to me."

Kell nodded. "And you still want to be married in the temple, for you or for her?"

"For her."

"And you think somehow you can take her there and allow her to make those covenants and you will reserve judgment, and perhaps not commit to every part of the endowment?"

"I don't even know what that means."

He leaned even further toward me, his eyes glittering in the darkness. "Sacrifice, obedience, chastity, and consecration, my friend. It means your whole heart, might, mind and soul. That's all, just everything."

I was shaking my head. "I don't know if I can do that."

"Then you need to step back from those fancy rings you two are sporting." Tecca said.