Aubrey (Revolving With Axis)

010:

"That's why I'm pretty sure you'll go home and watch them."

"I won't if you'd rather I didn't." I said diplomatically, hoping he didn't care. It hadn't been on my mind a whole lot, in fact, watching videos hadn't crossed my mind today at all, but now that he mentioned it....

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He didn't talk at all, and for a few moments it felt a little stilted in the atmosphere around us. I started wondering if he felt he had to reveal some persona to me, or have me know him in ways I wasn't prepared to. I guess if you spend a lot of intimate moments with someone on just the first date which was just supposed to be fun and dinner, not a real date.

We pulled up to my house. I beeped the garage door opener and up it went. He had my hand.

"Stay with me again, Aubrey."

I shook my head in confusion, literally, if he knew I was active in church he knew I was upholding my standards. He knew.

"Stay with me. Don't go home."

"I---."

"There's just you and me here. It needs to end this way."

"End?"

He rubbed his beanie off his head and ran his hands all over, itching his bald head where hair was starting to grow, beautiful very dark brown hair.

"You think we've started something?"

I was taken aback. This part of we had started something I thought in surprise. I supposed he kissed lots of women, spent that kind of time with lots of women. I supposed he was just another playboy rock star. I suppose a weekend with me was--

Confused and hurt, I started to get out of the car.

Rafe lunged at the door, shoving it open and leaning over the gear shift, far out.

His eyes were pleading.

"You must have a girlfriend already....?" I breathed. This really had just been a spur of the moment attraction something like a one night stand, except--

"No-- no it's not that."

"Not...?" I held my own hair back as a breeze wisped it into my face.

"I want you to stay with me. The night can't end with us separated." His lips were screwed up in this imploring way, very vulnerable.

I blinked at him. "I don't understand." I didn't. Last night was a fluke. I'd literally passed out in his massage room and couldn't, absolutely couldn't allow myself to consider how I got to the couch wrapped in a blanket, or even where he had slept, and if he'd been under the covers with me or not. I just couldn't.

And beyond that moment and those thoughts the truth was that I had had a wonderful evening. Every little bit of it had been distinguishable from every other date I'd ever had, really a stand out. I felt extraordinarily attracted to him and his kisses, although fairly unprecedented in my life on a first date had been lovely.

He slapped the seat. "This--"

"Yeah?" I held the door wide.

"This was the most amazing night of my life."

I shifted my weight in perplexion. "Then....?"

He blew out his breath. "So, you have to stay with me."

"Why?"

He shook his head as if I should just know why. There were a gazillion reasons floating haphazardly through my mind. To keep him from committing suicide??? To keep him from.... come on... he was the least at risk person I knew-- besides maybe my parents.

"Aubrey, come over at least for a little while. It's only midnight."

I nodded. I could do that. He scrambled over the console, and grabbed my hands, rubbing his palms over my arms, up and down as if warming me up. I stared into his eyes.

"Am I freaking you out?"

I pursed my lips. "You're acting a little desperate, and the comment about ending makes me think you can't continue to see me, and after you kissed me----" He kissed me again taking me by surprise. He hunched his shoulders into me, holding me on both sides of my face, gently, but with such intensity. He even reclaimed his stance to be closer to my legs, feeling his thighs through my jeans, his feet between mine. It was the kind of kiss you see in the movies, completely possessive.

"Don't be freaked out. I'm just serious about--" He kissed me again, running his fingers through my hair as he let it loose from its holder. He made those noises again, the ones he'd made while eating cotton candy in my mouth-- did I just say that?-- but there was no cotton candy. He was finding me the delicious thing.

I couldn't stop the kiss, it was all his.

******