Memoirs of a Broke B*tch

Embarrassing Stories

8/7/16

Since I'm a little anxious about returning to school, I've remembering a bunch of embarrassing stuff that's happened to me AT school.

I can't remember what grade I was in, but I was in high school. It was in February. I was living in an actual house at the time. It was rinky-dinky, but it was OUR (landlord's) house. Let me set the scene. I used to live in upstate New York. You know how some houses have a crack in the foundation? Well, I think that is what caused everything. One day, the whole family wakes up and the house smells like onions. A SKUNK SPRAYED THE DAMN HOUSE!!!!! Throughout this whole ordeal, everyone still managed to get dressed, because we had to leave soon. We're all making sure our clothes don't smell like skunk. It didn't. So, we called NYSEG, they're some gas company or something to tell them to check out the house, 'cause we didn't know if it was safe to breathe it in or something. So, remember, it's February. Everyone grabbed a coat and sat in the car. All of us were really close in the car. A little while later, my sister and I went to school. So, the whole morning, I know *I* smelled skunk, because my house wasn't that far from school. I knew everyone would be talking about the smell. When I was going to third period, I was hearing people talking about it. Everyone I passed by was like "dude, there must be a skunk outside or something." I then remembered what happened that morning, so I booked it to the bathroom and checked to see if it was me.

BITCH IT WAS ME.

WHY?! WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!

So, I went to third period armed with this new piece of information, and I told the teacher what happened, and she issued me a hall pass so I could go to the nurse, so I could sign out early or some shit. I realized WHY I smelled like skunk... it was because of the coat my mom had on. I think hers was downstairs, where the spray had smelled the worst. Upstairs wasn't as bad. So, I probably would have been fine, if we didn't have to go to the car! I was literally squished into my mom, lol.

So, I told my sister what happened. She laughed, and then used the same excuse I used to get of school early.

I don't have any more in-depth stories, but I've got a list for that ass!

1. I got sick in school one time, in front of all the kids on the playground :(

2. I started my menstrual cycle in school for the first time (7th grade) and didn't know until I went to the bathroom. Being that I didn't know how to deal with it, I think I tried to make a fake pad, but it wasn't good enough. I bled through my pants and some girl told my friend I pooped my pants. FAMALAM!!! She was a fucking BITCH to me but lil' ol, docile me, said NOTHING. I was nice to everyone, so I don't get why she did it. I mean, I forgive her, but I will *NEVER* forget that shit.

3. I was dared to tell my old Spanish teacher, "te amo", which means 'I love you' in Spanish. I wasn't a scaredy cat, because I knew that it was probably something that I didn't MEAN. The teacher blushed a little, like "uh..." because I'm sure he knew I didn't know what the fuck I was saying. I wasn't that embarrassed, though. I just proved I'm a G.

That's why now, I don't get embarrassed easily. I usually laugh embarrassing things off, whether I'm REALLY laughing (most of the time), or I'm just hella nervous.

You know what I read, though? I don't know if it was here or on Twitter or some shit. Someone was talking about people who laugh off their embarrassment, negatively. How does it make you "mad" that we can laugh off our embarrassment, and you walk away with your tail in between your legs? Huh?! They were like, 'just walk away like nothing happened'. BUT IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY. I can tell because you're laughing. Jeez, they must really enjoy seeing people down in the dumps. Anyway, bye.

(Also, I'm working on a new story, called Trinity Rowe University. The cover will be at the top.)