Survivor // Ben Parish

//39//

It's been months, yet it feels like it's been days. Has the time really gone that fast? Red just got here and I bet she's pissing her pants.

I haven't kissed zombie since last month and I have rarely been paying attention to him or peanut and Sammy. I don't know why. I've noticed Ringer and Zombie getting closer as in friends. Hunter is the only one that I can deal with. Maybe because I don't see him everyday.

Lately everyone and everything has been reminding me of Toby. My little Toby. Last week we were training out in the field and a small patch of dandelions were just siting there, bright yellow like the sun. Toby would grab them and put them in my hair, sometimes if the stem was long enough he would grab them and make a flower crown for me.

He would always tell me I looked like a princess not even Brandon called me princess.

Gosh how I miss Toby.

In just a few hours it's time for war.

The lights went out and I jumped a little at the sudden darkness.

A part of me tells me I'm not going to make it probably because we're a bunch of kids fighting with highly skilled creatures who aren't from this world.

And then another part of me says we're going to take down those bitches because even though we are just kids we will fight with everything we got just to see another day.

I cross my arms under my head and stare at the bunk above.

I'm pretty sure everyone was still wide awake, probably not being able to sleep from all the scare that was running through their bodies.

"I'm scared" Sammy whispered.

His bunk was right next to Zombie's.

"Don't be" Zombie comforted.

"Before going to bed my sister would always sing to me" Sammy said.

What was her name again? Cassie? Yeah I'm pretty sure it was Cassie.

"Bones are sinking like stones all that we fall for" Sammy sang softly.

I remember hearing this song a lot, this was my favorite song.

"Homes places we've grown all of us are done for" Zombie joined in on the next line.

I payed attention to them singing because it was kind of nice.

"Can you guys please shut up" Dumbo asked from his bunk.

"And we live in a beautiful world, yeah we do, yeah we do, we live in a beautiful world" I started singing softly just like them and I was a bit surprise by my actions.

We sang the song till it was over and just sat in silence.

"What if we die?" Peanut whispered from above.

"We won't die. We've spend all these months training, just to die? Not today not tomorrow and not the day after that" I said and I squeezed my pillow tightly.

Maybe I should read the letter because what if peanut is right and we die? I'll never get another chance to read that letter again.

No! I will come back and when I do I'll read that stupid letter. Until then I'm not even going to look at it because I will be coming back for it no matter what.

"If I die will I finally see my mom?" Peanut asks out of the blue.

"You're not going to die peanut. As long as I'm with you nothing will ever happen to you, I promise"

She let her hand fall from her bunk, I reached up and grabbed it, caressing it slowly.

"We're going to make it" she said as she gave my hand a small squeeze.

Yes we are peanut yes we are.

I made Sammy a promise on that bus and I'm still willing to make it come true and now I made a promise to peanut. Zombie once told me that a promise matters more than anything now. He's right it does matter and I will do everything i can to protect these kids not just the kids, my squad that I've been dying to be the leader of.. Even ringer. I'm pretty sure she can defend herself but I will do anything to protect them even if it means me dying.

I decided to get some rest before war so i closed my eyes and fell asleep almost instantly.

-

The big metal doors opened with a loud creek and I sat up immediately.

Vosch walked in and gave me a look with those icy blue eyes, "it's time"