Survivor // Ben Parish

//10//

One moment I was five years old blowing out my birthday candles and opening my presents and the next I was seven learning how to ride a bike. Mom's face appeared in front of me, she still has that gorgeous glow around her face.

"I love you honey" I wanted to reach out for her and tell her I love her back.

"I love you too baby girl" dad's face showed up next to hers. His blonde perfect quiff still the same with those green piercing eyes.

"Boo!" Toby.. First time I see his face in months.

I feel my legs trying to rip through the straps.

Mom was crying, I remember this day. She was crying because she found out my sister started using drugs.

I wanted to hug her and kiss her, show her love and that she's not alone. Seeing her cry made my heart shatter into a million pieces. Don't cry mom. I wish I could tell her that, I wish I tried harder to save her.

I was eleven years old when Toby came into my life. The minute my life changed and I had something to look forward to. Toby was born and I held him in the hospital, I bottle fed him, I changed his diapers, I played with him, I gave him attention, I loved him.

"Take care of your brother" mom said. I couldn't seem to talk because all that would come out would be sobs. "You're all he has left"

She handed me a letter. "When the time is right, and you find happiness, open this letter. Everything you need to know is in here. Promise to me you'll open it when the time is right"

I didn't even get so say anything to her because she pushed me up the tree that could only hold up one person, me.

I lost my mind. I wanted to jump off and try to save them but its just committing suicide. I cried and cried for several hours before heading back to camp.

I don't know what was worse seeing my parents getting taken away in the flood or seeing my sister betray us.

Right when I got to camp I marched towards her, my eyes blood red and my bottom lip quivering.

"You bitch!" I yelled. I grabbed my rifle and pinned her neck against the wall with the center of the gun. "You killed them! It's your fault they're dead!"

"I-Irene!" She chocked out.

"Why would you do that! Why!" I cried out.

"They were others!"

"No they weren't!" I said and tighten the grip on her neck.

A group had gathered around us, the people from the camp surrounded us in a ball. No one dared to interrupt me or even try to stop it.

"We were just hunting and you started attacking them! Y-you tried killing them! You were trying to get them drowned! And then you just ran!"

"I told you! They're others" she chocked out.

"Boo?" I heard a tiny voice say behind me.

I put my gun down and she fell on her knees gasping for air and holding her neck.

I turned around and picked up Toby, taking him away.

"Killer you're coming back in... 3.. 2.. 1"

I opened my eyes and took deep breaths. I was drowning in dreams, in dreams that will never happen ever again.

"You passed.." Vosch smiled.

He unstrapped me from the chair and gave me a cup of water. I felt around my forehead and I was sweating. My hand were shaking and I couldn't get my breathing back to normal.

"You'll usually get over it in a few hours" he said. The pain in my life or the shaking and breathing?

He sat in a chair in front of me, just staring into my eyes.

"You've always caught my attention" Vosch said.

"Why?"

"You're not like everyone else here.. You're different." For the first time I'm talking to him as a friend.

"Well I don't know what it might be, maybe the fact that I'm totally destroyed inside and yet I'm still alive, or maybe because I'm such a softy" I chuckle lightly.

"It's not any of those.. It's the fact that you are dead inside, but you give everyone hope." I looked down at my feet dangling from the table. "Sammy, peanut.. Zombie" I looked up and stared at him. Zombie? Oh please that kid is more dead than a corpse that's been underground for years. "I don't know who you are or what are your intentions but I'm going to tell you one thing soldier, you need to stay strong for that squad, that curly headed boy that runs to you every time he's scared of the dark, or that pretty boy with the killer smile, you private Killer need to lead that squad to victory!"

"Sir, yes, sir!" I shouted.

I have to be strong when I'm weak and brave when I'm scared. For Sammy, for peanut, pretty boy, and the rest of squad 53.

I'm going to lead that squad to victory.