Survivor // Ben Parish

//22//

Zombie..

I sat up as quickly as possible, panting like a dog and sweat dripping down my forehead. A sudden pain bursts through both my sides. The memories started coming back, me beating killer and then killer beating me.

"You should lay down." Dr. Pam said as she pushed me softly down onto the chair.

I woke up from a nightmare about sissy and killer.

"Where's killer?" I asked as I rubbed my head. A horrible headache rushed through my head.

"After you blacked out, killer went out too. Her little friend Hunter and Reznik carried her to the infirmary. She's probably back in the bunks by now"

"How long have I been out for?" I asked.

"A few hours" how can killer already be fine and I'm still suffering.

"Why did you beat her like that? Huh?" She questioned.

It's non of your business.

"I have my reasons, and I'm pretty sure it doesn't include you" I snapped.

"Zombie, im just trying to look out for you"

"Look. I'm fine. Just give me some pain killers and let me go back to my squad"

"Are you sure that's all you want? Just pain killers? You're recovery might take a little longer than just a few pain killers" stop acting like you care about me.

"Yes I'm sure"

She opened a yellow bottle and handed me two pills. They didn't look like normal pills. They were a bright green color. I was in too much pain to care if the pill was green, it could of been black and I would of still taken them.

"Thanks" I said before walking out the door.

I made my way back to the bunks. Once I walked in it all went silent like I just killed somebody.. Oh wait I almost did.

"Where's killer?" I asked looking at every single face that was staring at me. Except for one.. Ringer. She seemed more focused on her gun than a beat up guy.

"Why? So you can finish killing the poor girl?" Flint hollers.

"I didn't want to beat her, but you saw Reznik. She wouldn't have let her out the fight without a scratch"

"Well squad leader that was more than just a scratch" damit flint!

"Yes I know! Now where is she?" I yelled.

"Or was it because little zombie was jealous of Hunter?" Flint says in a mocking voice.

"Godamit flint! Where the hell is she!" I yelled frustrated. It definitely made everyone jump except for ringer she just looked up at me for a quick second before returning to her gun situation.

"I don't know! I don't know! I guess she's with Vosch!" Flint yells.

"No.. No" I whispered to myself as I ran out the door and down the long corridors.

She can't be with Vosch. This is the final strike..

I run down the halls and bump into some soldiers but I'm too focused on finding killer.

I never wanted to beat killer I never wanted to hurt her. I love her. I had to do it or Vosch was going to kill her.

Days before my first kiss with killer I was told by Vosch that killer was going Dorothy and that I had to kill her but I begged and begged for one more chance. After being warned to not show any loving and caring emotions towards her I finally came to an agreement with him. One more strike and she's dead.

She can't be killed she's the only person giving me hope to live one more fucking day in this shitty world. I had to make it look like I hated her when Reznik told me to fight her.

The look on her face when I pulled away from that kiss, broke my heart into a million fucking pieces.

I care about her so much, enough to make it seem like I hate her just so she doesn't get killed by the commander.

She thinks I don't notice the small things about her. Like the smile she has on her face as she kisses Sammy and peanut goodnight, or how she can only sleep on her left side so the last thing she sees before going to sleep is Sammy and once she wakes up she sees Sammy again, or how competitive she is even if it's for the smallest things like who can dress the fastest in the morning, or even the fact that she hides a letter under her pillow. I always look at her while she checks if it's still under her pillow. She checks morning and night everyday.

She doesn't know I love her she thinks I hate her guts and she hates mine. She almost killed me today and what kills me the most is how she said my full real name. She said she was going to kill me. She's not going Dorothy, she might be a bit insane but I mean who isn't?

If the rest of squad 53 knew about my love towards killer they would think it's impossible to fall in love with a killing machine like her but in reality it wasn't hard. The fastest way to fall for any person is to get attached to them, the rest just solves itself.

What's crazy in my mind is how we already had one crazy female in our squad but then they decided to add another one. Ringer.. Where to start with her? I wouldn't want to see them two get in a fight they would probably finish the others job and destroy the rest of humanity and take down the planet earth while they're at it.

I have major respect for ringer not because she can make me into a human pretzel if I piss her off but because she knows what she's doing. She just has everything planned out. She keeps a lot to herself, keeps an aggressive attitude at all times, she doesn't show weakness.

Killer and Ringer the two best friends. Who am I kidding? They'll end up killing each other before entering war.

"What are you doing out of your bunk?" A soldier stopped me.

"I was looking for someone" I said as I grabbed my side.

"Go back to your bunk private"

"I can't I need to find her or something really bad is going to happen"

"Well guess what? I don't care" he grabbed my arm and started leading me back.

He threw me inside and closed the door behind him.

"Finished the job?" Flint smiles.

"I'm not going to kill her. I need to find her because she's in danger"

"Killer's in danger? Oh please!" Oompa laughs.

"I'm serious!" I yell. This is my squad and I'm the leader they need to start showing respect.

"Zombie are you okay?" Peanut asks.

"Yes in fine.." I barley say before my mind starts spinning in a million directions and my face is greeted by the floor.

"Zombie zombie" I hear my name being chanted out but they just get to me in small whispers.

My eyes begin closing and my breathing starts getting heavier.

What is wrong with me?