Survivor // Ben Parish

//20//

He pulled away breathless and his smile had gone away.

"Whats wrong?" i asked. i missed his lips against mine.

"We can't do this" He didn't even look into my eyes he just looked at the bathroom floor.

"but-"

"i know i lead you on but this is not what i meant. I don't feel this way about you, I'm sorry" his words hit me like a truck.

"But you said lets be two normal teenagers again.. you were going to tell me something before i cut you off" i said. why am i doing this? stop it killer.

"I was going to tell you that i don't like you that way, sorry" This must be a nightmare, please god let this be a nightmare. Who am i kidding there is no such thing as god.

"I practically admitted to you that i liked you, i kissed you zombie. You can't just do this"

"Im sorry" he stood up and looked down at me for a few seconds before walking out the door.

He doesn't love me. Im so stupid for thinking he at least liked me. Ive wasted all my time on him i can't believe he would do something like this especially to me when he knows i can make his life a living hell, well worse than what it is now.

Two teenagers in love? Oh please. I felt like a teenager all over again but not a happy one instead a pathetic and... heartbroken one. Reznik beating me to the floor, kicking me until i spit blood, throat punching me until i throw up food i ate days ago, and slapping me until my cheeks are bright red still doesn't compare to the pain i feel right now.

-

I woke up at the same time i wake up everyday feeling the same as always except now i have a different feelings swimming up to the surface. regret, self-pity, and embarrassment.

i got dressed quicker than the other soldiers and kept a close eye on our replacement. Her skin had a glow i don't know how thats even possible, the rest of us looked like we died, went to hell, and crawled back up from our graves.

we were waiting for reznik to tell us what we will be doing today so we just stood next to our bunks, waiting.

"Just to make it clear, i will not be following your orders 'squad leader'" ring-ring spoke up.

"Well you have to" Dumbo defended
zombie.

She turned around and started walking towards dumbo ready to probably kill the poor nerd.

"Hey!" i yelled. This needs to stop, I'm not in the mood today to deal with anyones bullshit. "You don't have to like us but we're your new squad now so deal with it! You either listen to zombie since he's squad leader or me because I'm the one taking care of shit around here! so you choose because you will listen to one of us I'm not asking you, I'm telling you!" i yelled. "And dumbo just keep your mouth shut because next time i wont save you!"

everyone was just staring at me, they didn't speak or move they just stared.

"I'm not your typical girl, you shouldn't get in my way because I won't mind eliminating you" she said.

"Squad 53! lets go!" Reznik walked in before I could say anything else.

Ring-ring will follow someone's orders it doesn't matter if their zombies or mine but she isn't bossing us or herself around here.