excerpts

14.4

Breathe. One. Two. Three. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

My head spun. It was too bright. I gasped. Air. I needed air.

Inhale. Exhale.

I floundered. I couldn't even breathe right. Self pity filled my lungs.

I gasped.

Anxiety.

It slipped down my throat. It encased my screams. It swallowed my heart. Stoppered my emotions.

I blinked.

The world was black and white.

I blinked.

I was painted gray.

Inhale. Exhale. Nothing. Just. Please. I need.

A release.

My fingers fumbles through drawers. Boxes. Containers.

It wasn't here.

There was nothing.

I wanted to scream. I kept it in. The anxiety a cord. Winding around my throat.

Finally. I found something. Safety scissors.

But they don't cut.

I throw it. It clatters. The wall is silent. I pound it. Frustration overwhelms me.

I gasp.

I'm covered in scratches.

Tears finally drip down.

As the rope is pulled tight.