magcon/ogoc imagines

Daddy Issues 4 // s.w

"I don't think he's interested in staying in its life, he was kind of pissed when I told him and he didn't think that the baby's his."

"If he didn't want to be a part of the baby's life, he wouldn't have thrown as big as a tantrum as he did." She's got a point. "He might even have feelings for you still-"

That's laughable.

"He doesn't, Annie, I promise you that."

"Well, still, he just needs time to think about what he was told and process the fact that he's going to have a kid. I think that's what he's doing now, he just needed space to do so."

-

When I finally left the Wilkinson household (I was there for an extra 2 hours more than I intended because Lori had found out that I was there and started crying over my scan picture and how she's too young to be a 'grammy' at her age), I drove down to the closest motel to their house.

Whenever something bad happens to Sam and he needs to be alone, he goes to a hotel or a motel, whichever one he can afford out of pocket. They're his getaway places. Some people have forests, some have tree houses or beaches, but Sam, Sam has a hotel.

He refuses to tell anyone where he goes when he disappears (it's normally just for a few hours, it's a complete waste of money but that's how he works) but when we were dating, he slipped up and told me where he was and then ordered me to come and see him.

It happened at least once a month. I don't know why it took me so long to think of where he could be. He definitely would have told someone if he went back to LA because he wouldn't want to give his mom a heart attack.

I park directly across from the big glass doors and pull my phone from my bag. I unlock it quickly and find Sam's contact. I just stare at the familiar number for a second before I press my thumb down against the voice call option.

And it rings.

And rings.

And rings.

And-

"What do you want?" His gruff voice says lowly.

He actually answered. I look straight out of the windshield and stare at the motel entrance.

"Talk to me."

"Y/N, if you're just going to have a fit at me, you can fuck off-"

"I'm not going to, Sam." I say sternly yet calmly. I take a short breath before continuing. "Yes, I'm pissed that you didn't show up today but I was worried when I was told that the father of my child had gone missing and he wasn't talking to anyone and no one had seen him in three days."

I'm obviously going to be worried, even if I hated him with a burning passion, I would still be worried. If the roles were reversed, I'm sure he would be worried about me. And knowing Sam, he would do exactly what I'm doing now.

"Why are you worried? I'm not your problem anymore." He's my baby daddy and my first proper boyfriend, I will always be worried about him and care for him, no matter what.

"You never were a problem, Sammy, I just want you to talk to me and tell me what happened."

"I'm sure that you've already been told what happened in great detail."

"I was told that your dad was pissed about me being pregnant and you two got into a fight and you had one of your, episodes, and you stormed out and you haven't answered anyone at all." I breathe, pulling out my own copy of the scan.

"Why'd you answer my call out of everyone's?" The line goes silent but I can hear his rigid breathing through the speaker. I look down at the picture of my baby - our baby - and leave Sam to speak at his own pace.

"Because I knew that you wouldn't shout and swear at me." He sounds so sad and fragile and I can't even imagine what he's feeling right now.

"Will you tell me what happened?" It takes him a few moments but he sighs and gives in.

"I guess."

"I'm outside the motel."

"I know, I know you more than you anyone, Y/N." And he hangs up.

Two minutes later, my car door opens and Sam sinks himself into the passenger seat. He quietly closes the door behind him and lays his head back against the rest, staying silent.

"Are you okay?" I whisper, looking over at him.

"No."

My heart clenches.

"What happened?" I slowly reach over and rub his arm, for comfort and security, so he knows that he can trust me.

"He just makes me so angry, Y/N. He was criticising everything I've ever done and he told me that I'm going to fail with music because it's not a proper job." He clenches his jaw angrily and looks down at his fists. I notice that the knuckles are a little bit scabby and bruised. "He was saying shit about you and the baby, stuff he wouldn't normally say because he knew that it would rile me up. He didn't know when to shut up and I just... I just lost it."

He takes a moment to focus on his breathing and calm himself down so he can finish. I know there's more to the story than this by the way that he's getting so worked up about it.

"He called me a good for nothing stoner with no realistic goals. I'm the child he's ashamed of. He's ashamed of me because I went out and chased my dreams with my best friends and we're all making it work. He said my kid is going to be embarrassed by me because I won't have a real job to support him or her."

He's so close to crying, his eyes are shining in the light reflecting through the windshield and his muscles are so tense, he's just trying to keep his emotions contained and hidden from me. I make sure to avoid the growing bruise on my bicep as I lightly rub his muscle.

"You know I gave you the option to be in its life, you don't have to be there to support it."

He looks up at me and shakes his head. "If I'm not there at the beginning but I want to be there after, you won't let me and that would kill me, Y/N." His hair flops over his eyes and he quickly shoves it back into a make-do quiff.

"I wouldn't keep your from you child, Sam, I would feel awful about it." He grabs my hand, pulling it from his muscle, and lacing his fingers through mine. "Your mom wants to be involved, so do your sisters and Ben."

It would be hard to keep the baby away and out of Sams life, especially if it's going to be around his family a lot. I wouldn't be able to keep the baby away from Sam even if I tried - I would feel too bad for the baby for not seeing their dad and I would feel sorry for Sammy. And I would feel sorry for myself.

"They'd see my own kid more than I would, how fucking depressing is that?" I tilt my head, leaning it against the head rest and stare at the side of his face.

"It's pretty sad, yes, but you're off in another state, working your ass off to make music and making a living for yourself! So you can't see your kid everyday of the week, at least you're not a deadbeat dad who ran off because you couldn't face up to your mistake."

"I'm doing that now, aren't I?" He whispers. His turns his head a few degrees, making the corner of his eye visible to me. He's staring down at the sonogram picture.

"Running away from your mistakes?" Sam nods, staring down at my lap. "Yeah, you are."

With a massive groan mixed with a sigh, Sam removed his hand from my grip and tugs it through his hair, shaking his head in the process. "I'm sorry for putting you through all of the crap I did."

"It's not okay, everything you did, but I forgive you. I can't live in the past when my future is literally inside me." My future is literally inside of my body right now.

"Our future." He corrects with a bigger, brighter smile.