In suburbia. (Tronnor Fanfic)

Twenty-six

Do you know the feeling of falling in love?
And by that I mean the feeling of falling in love.
Falling in love with a human being, not with some person on the internet. Not with some boyband member.
Falling in love with a human.

Probably not.

That's because people nowadays suck. They really do.

Well, maybe you have. Maybe you have fallen in love with someone.

But did they love you back?

Probably not.

That's because people nowadays suck. They really do.

Well, maybe they did. Maybe they did love you back.

And maybe you guys were perfect together.

Maybe you were so in love it made you blind.

Maybe it made you two so happy together you could barely function without each other.

And, well, that's exactly what happened to me.
I fell in love with a human being.
He loved me back.
We were so in love it made us blind.
We were so happy together, we could barely function without each other.

But there was one problem.

We couldn't be with each other all the time.
We both had a job.

But when we were together, we had the best time of our lives.
We had the same interests.
We both liked good music.
We both liked good food.
We both liked good movies.
We both liked good cuddles.

And you won't understand our relationship when you haven't been in a relationship like ours.
And I know that sounds rude, but you just won't.
You will find it cute.
You will think we're adorable together.
You will be jealous of our relationship.
But you won't understand it.

And maybe even the people who have fallen in love. And had someone who loved them back. And their love made them blind. And they could barely function without each other. Maybe even those people won't understand our relationship.

Our relationship has had a tough start.
I was totally not myself the first time we met. And Connor wasn't either.
The second time we met, he had already seen me drunk. And I didn't even know he saved me.
And when we first met, Connor wasn't accepting himself for who he was.
And that sucks.
And I felt guilty about that.
I felt guilty for disturbing his calm, peaceful life.

But we totally loved each other.
And we understood each other so good.
And we loved all the things we did together.
He helped me so much, with finding an apartment, with finding a job, with contacting Heardwell.
And I hope I helped him too. I really hope I helped him. Because he is the sweetest person I know. And all I want is him to be happy. But he wasn't happy. We all know what I'm talking about.
And words can't describe how much I love him.

I'm crying. All I want is Connor to be happy. And he wasn't happy before.
I'm happy he isn't sleeping in my room tonight. I don't want him to see me cry. He's had such a tough day. And the last thing I want, is him worrying about me.
I'm okay. I'm fine. Or at least I tell myself I am.
Yes. I am fine. I have the most beautiful boyfriend anyone could wish for. I shouldn't cry. I'm not the one with homophobic parents. I'm not the one who has lived all on his own for 5 years. I'm not the one who is running his own brand because he needed to make himself a living.

I need to speak to Connor. Or at least be close to him.

I walk to his room on my tiptoes, slowly and quietly I open the door.
And I see him. He is sleeping already.

But I want to sleep next to him. That's all I want to do right now.

So I sit down on the edge of his bed, still as quiet as I can. I watch him.
His slow breaths.
His brown hair put down, with that cute curl.
His closed eyes.
He is sleeping so peacefully.

I slowly lay down next to him. I softly kiss his hair. I softly grab his hand.
I take a deep breath and fall asleep.