Love of my Life - ON HOLD -

Chapter 16

I quickly, snapped back to reality looking behind to see, a whole bunch of angry customers. My hands became sweaty, and I told her what I wanted. As soon as it was ready, I paid and then ran out of the coffee shop with it. My whole face was red from embarassment. I took a glance at my watch, and noticed it was..

3:45 PM

What.. No, I couldn't have been that long. My phone instantly, beeped and I noticed that I had around 15 missed calls from Kurt, and 5 messages from him. I frowned, and sighed. I took a seat on a bench, and read the texts he gave me. He was getting more worried, on each message.

Kurt's 1st Message : Blaine.. You've been gone for a while. I'm with Sebastian right now at the shop. Where are you at? 

Kurt's 2nd Message : We just left, the shop. I still can't find you! Blaine where are you..

Kurt's 3rd Message : BLAINE!? Where the heck are you? You've missed my 5 calls.. Are you angry at me? Or are you ignoring me? Please, Blaine just answer!

Kurt's 4th Message : I get it.. Your upset, and disappointed with me. And I know exactly why. But, Blaine I told you! As soon as I met you.. I loved you! I would never want to hurt you. You said you loved me too! You promised.. Blaine just answer. Tell me where you are!

Kurt's 5th Message : Blaine.. I'm getting really worried. Its been two hours! Where are you. Tell me right now! We're supposed to be spending time together, and instead all I've been doing is hanging out with Sebastian and, text and calling you. Look. Blaine, I love you to death. And I am worried sick, not knowing where you went of to. You said you went to get a coffee. Sebastian was just there, and said you weren't there! So, Blaine.. Where oh where are you. Please, just tell me! Me and him are at the park, so if you could meet me there.. I'd feel so much better. I love you Blaine. Please, just come.

My eyes began tearing up.. Sebastian lied to him, making him even more worried about me! I'm not angry at him, and I'm not ignoring him.. I guess, I was just off in space thinking about my past. I dreaded, it. I couldn't believe Kurt was really worrying about me though.. 

But, I couldn't believe either that he was spending all that time with Sebastian worrying about me. 

I ran speedily, all the way to the park. I froze, though. I hid behind a bunch of green bushes, and felt my eyes begin to water as I frowned. There.. Sebastian, and Kurt were sitting on a bench. With Sebastian kissing Kurt, ever so passionately. Just like, when me and Kurt kissed. Or I was just imagining it was like that.

My eyes began to sting, and I quickly looked away. 

Sebastian, was kissing Kurt. Sebastian, was kissing Kurt..

Did Kurt like it? Had Kurt started the kiss? Had Kurt forgotten all about me? Did Sebastian tell Kurt something terrible about me? Was Sebastian, seriously winning Kurt over..

I looked back, tears going down my face like a busy highway. Kurt's hands were slightly, up showing he must have been surprised. Kurt couldn't have POSSIBLY kissed Sebastian. Sebastian, probably kissed him. Or so I hoped. Sebastian though, had his hands placed on Kurt's soft, smooth cheeks. 

I hated him. I hated Sebastian. He was a selfish, heartless, stupid, cruel, nasty, ugly, jerk! And, I was jealous of him.. Because, he had gotten to kiss Kurt. While, I had been off in "La La Land" thinking of my pathetic past. I hated him so much, I wanted to go over there, and push him away from Kurt..

And, I did exactly that.

"Sebastian, what the hell are you doing to Kurt!?" I exclaimed, running towards them both. Mostly, to Sebastian but..

Sebastian seemed shocked, and slightly nervous. I looked at Kurt, and his face.. Looked just confused, surprised, glad, and frustrated all at the same time. My tear had dried up, by the time I ran here. Sebastian gazed at Kurt, as Kurt just stared at the ground trying to figure this all out, probably. 

"Blaine.. Um.. That.. This.. It was just.." Sebastian mumbled, completely clueless of what to say to me.

I bet you, he was thinking about kissing Kurt some more. My eyebrows lowered, and my eyes went a bit watery. But, I wasn't going to cry. I mean, I wasn't sad.. 

I was jealous, and angry. Not the best emotions, together. 

Suddenly, I did something I thought I'd never do. Out of all my rage, and jealousy. Kurt stared at me, and then to Sebastian then, back to me. His eyes widened, and his mouth wide open. 

I punched Sebastian in the face, and he landed on the ground.. He laid on the grass, facing the ground. I instantly, noticed.. There was some blood on the ground. No.. I couldn't have hit him that hard. I wasn't a fighter. Or a rager.. Was I? I was so jealous, and angry. Right then, did I let it get the best of me. 

Right in front of Kurt.. After, he had been worrying about me for around 2 hours. My face went red, and I stared in shock still at Sebastian. I looked at Kurt, but he was still in shock. But, 2 minutes passed and Kurt quickly, got up off the bench, away from me, and towards Sebastian. Sebastian finally, looked up. His hand was covering his cheek but, I could see the large, light purple bruise I had left. And his bloody nose, dripping still. Sebastian had watery eyes, and shot up like a lightning bolt, stared at Kurt, and then ran towards the end of the path into the city, like he was running for his life. 

From me.

A tear, went down my face as I finally realized how upset Kurt was.

"Blaine, why the hell would you do that!? I thought, you were better then that. I thought, you were sweet. And kind, and good. But.. That.. That was not even CLOSE to that. Or to, what I expected from you Blaine. Not from you.. I can't believe, what I just saw.. I thought, you were a good person. But, everyone has their own dark selves don't they. Blaine.. Forget about tonight.. I think, I'm just gonna head home." Kurt shouted with anger, and disappointment in his tone. His eyes were extremely watery, his face was red and he wouldn't even look me in the eye. 

New tears strolled down my face, as I stared at Kurt. I couldn't even believe what I just did. And the fact, that now.. Now he simply hated me? It hurt.. It hurt, so freaking badly. Kurt hating me, was the last thing on my list. He stared at me, for a quick second. Like he was trying to see, if their was even any good in me. But, he looked away and began walking. Walking far, far away from me. I just stood there like an idiot. Hating myself.

I screwed things up. I really, really, extremely, did. I got down to GREG's level. I did what HE would do, with everything HE didn't like. I punched it. I became, the guy I never wanted to become. And to Sebastian, in front of Kurt. 

The love of my life.. 

Why!? I threw myself, on the grass and just laid there staring into the soon to be evening sky. It was darkening, and stars were all taking place. I closed my eyes tight, and tears came pouring out like, there was no end. Ever.

I ruined it. I messed up.

Kurt hated me. Sebastian was going to get even with me. I turned into my worst fear. I hated myself. Jason was so far away at the moment, which was probably the reason he never answered my email, and wasn't at The Warblers. My mom, was at another doctor's appointment. Burt was going to hate my guts. Rachel was going to tell Kurt to get over it, which would hurt even more. Finn would probably, do something to me for Kurt's sake. 

My life was in ruins. And, I hated myself right now so badly. I wanted to kill my stupid, retarded self! I got up, and just screamed at the top of my lungs. It felt a bit good, but I broke into more tears then before.