Love of my Life - ON HOLD -

Chapter 9

The only good thing, about this whole day. I checked my watch, and just stared at the digits.

7:32 PM

I frowned.. Hurry up! I stared at it some more..

7:38 PM

Come on.. I decided, to watch some tv while, I waited for the time to go faster. I turned on the tv, and just sat there. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.. I snapped out of my tv phase, and looked at my watch.

8:00 PM

I smiled, and turned off the tv. I ran to the door, quickly and opened it. I was completely, out of my mind shocked to see.. Jason standing at the door. My smile, went into a frown as I just stared at him. He raised his eyebrows, and frowned as well. He sort of, just glared at me. A minute, passed by and I saw Kurt coming up behind him. He turned around, and stared at Kurt. Kurt was smiling, as he walked up the path. He looked at us two, and froze.. I would too if I were him. Jason was like a complete emo. Full package. Jason backed away though minutes after, and just walked away. Kurt stared at him, as he walked away without a word. Jason whispered something, to Kurt quietly though.

I was wondering what..

"Um.. So.. Was that your brother?"

"Uh.. Yeah pretty much."

He smiled again, and walked up the stairs quickly. I looked into his beautiful eyes, for just a moment and then looked away as, he did. He grabbed my hand, and squeezed it just slightly.. It felt comforting, and my frown went into a smile. I guess, I still have a chance. But, that was sorta awkward if you ask me.. Kurt still staring at me, asked me if my mom was alright. I nodded, slowly and looked at the door.. He walked into my house, and I walked in as well. I took off my shoes, as he did.

"Nice place! Maybe, not as stylish as mine.. Or should I say my bedroom.. But, its nice." He told me, as he looked around examining everything.

I just followed, along chuckling. He looked at a couple picture frames, and I was feeling so nervous. He quickly, looked through all of them. Still following, him.. He went right into the living room.

"You know, you could just ask for a tour." I said. He looked at me, and then looked up.

"Oh I know." He replied, looking at the ceiling lights.. I felt like he was the FBI or something..

Strange, weird, Kurt. Amazing how he examines, every little thing.. And then, my heart skipped a beat as, he walked towards the pictures of me in 4th, 5th, and 6th grade. Those were the pictures.. The pictures of the old me. The nerdy one.. The ugly one.. I frowned, as he began looking at them. I didn't want him to see those. I tugged on his arm, and he looked at me.

"Kurt.. Why don't we go upstairs? You can examine my room, if you want." I said, jokingly. He smirked, and followed me as we went up the stairs.

I stared, at him as we both walked into my room. It was pretty clean.. I mean, my room was still a bit messy. But, it was cleaner then usual. He smiled, and just jumped on my bed. He put his feet crossover, and was getting a bit comfortable, as I closed the door. He looked at me, and I finally joined him and sat on the bed. I looked into his eyes again.. They sort of had a glimmer, in them right now. It felt, like he was getting closer and closer each second. Like, I could hear his breathing. He took his jacket off, and laid it next to him on the bed. I just kept, staring at him. For a minute, I thought I was drooling.. Was I? No, no I was just imagining it.

Man.. I'm such a dork. Why would I drool.. I mean, dogs only do that..

"So.. Your gay?" Kurt said, to break the silence.

I nodded, at him slowly still staring into his eyes. He smiled, and looked down.

"I never would have guessed you know.. I mean, you freaking out in front of me at Dalton.. That was a big hint, but.. I didn't think you meant it or anything."

Of course, I meant it. He was amazing. Why wouldn't I love him?

He played with his fingers, a bit.

"I was hoping, you'd feel that way about me. I was so afraid, to tell anyone. To tell you specifically. I didn't know whether, you would freak out and not talk to me, or.." He mumbled.

I would completely, feel that way about you Kurt. I would always talk to you. I'd never freak out, at you.

"When, you told me you felt the same way as I did about you.. My heart.. It felt like it stopped. I felt so happy Blaine. Tell me, if you felt the same way?"

I smiled, and held his hand tight.

"I have always felt that way about you Kurt. Always. From the moment, you sang to the moment, I saw you at the coffee shop with Sebastian.."

He blushed a little, and smiled happily. He came a bit closer, and his lips suddenly, just touched mine. I closed my eyes, and realised what was really happening. He was kissing me. I put my arms, around his neck and just enjoyed that moment. Right there. Perfect. I just felt, like nothing was wrong with me. Like, I wasn't disgusting, or ugly, or a total nerd. Like, I wasn't a stain.. I felt, like I was finally perfect. Kurt made me feel that way. And only him. I never, felt like this before. Never in my life. But, then I remembered something. Something I didn't want to remember.

Those words from the past hit me.

"Your a stain Blaine. Your a disgusting, retarded, nerd."

"I'm still sorry, you had no chance to stand up for yourself. But, thats what you get for thinking that Adam was even close to into you."

"No one is gay. Only YOU. Stay away from everyone. You don't even deserve chances. You don't deserve friends. You don't even deserve to live."

"No one wants to see your messed up face. Or hear your voice."

"Because, your gay. Gay, gay, gay and more GAY!"

I backed away, from Kurt quickly. Kurt seemed surprised, and stared at me. He asked me what was wrong, and got up. He came closer, to me and I backed away farther.

"Kurt.. I think you should go. I forgot, I have to do something.."

Kurt frowned, with slightly teary eyes. He grabbed his jacket, and walked out of the room. I stood there, and heard the door slam hard. I closed my eyes, tightly as tears came down my face. I closed my bedroom door and, laid on the bed. I looked at the ceiling, and just thought about the past. Over and over.

And all I did, was just cry. Cry about what I had just done.