Behind the Tattoos: Uncontrollable Desires Sequel

Chapter Thirty: Everyone's Thoughts

Chapter Thirty: Everyone's Thoughts

*Ashlyn's POV*

When I wake up, I cannot move. So instead, I just lay in the hospital bed and stare up at the ceiling. Physically, I feel tired and numb. Completely numb, kind of like I've taken too much anesthetics.

Mentally, I feel like I've just started running a mile. There's just so much happening in my life, so much craziness that is suddenly making itself apparent.

I wonder how Niall is doing. I wonder if Harry is bettering himself. I wonder if Liam and Zayn have finished that card tower they swore to build. I wonder if Louis is making any progress with Harry.

I wonder where Lucinda is and what she's thinking.

She must be so glad to have me out of the way. She warned me that Harry would fall in love with her, but I don't believe that to be true. Harry and I love each other very much and when I get completely healed, and he's better as well, we will return to normal and love one another. I know we will.

Lucinda can just fuck off right now, in my opinion.

But there's also that tiny voice in my head that is desperately trying to make itself more heard. The voice telling me that Niall is the one I should be in love. That he's done everything he could for me and I have to see that he cares.

And I do see it, but it's hard for me to just...allow myself to love him.

Harry and I belong with one another. I know it.

I shut my eyes and think back. The last thing I remember is giving Jeffery a wide smile and telling him everything will be fine.

And I'm right, obviously, since I've now woken up.

I move my head and look down at my body, the IVs dripping liquid into my blood stream. The white hospital sheets tucked against my body. I see my toes sticking out of the bottom of the blanket.

They move when I try to wiggle them.

I gasp and do it again. It's only minor movements, hardly noticeable, but I can see it. It shows that I'm recovering, getting better.

I feel tears start up in my eyes, the sting behind the lids that indicates them coming.

I did it. I did it. I did it.

I repeat the mantra, over and over again. I still can't believe it.

I did it.

**Niall's POV**

I can't sleep so instead I pace across my room.

Zayn is asleep on the bed across from mine, but I haven't been able to climb into mine and sleep. My mind is too occupied with thoughts of Ashlyn and her surgery.

God, why couldn't she just wait for me? I told her, I told her so many times to just wait for me and let me be there to help.

Frustration builds up and I pull at my blonde hair. I can't take this. What if something went wrong? What if she doesn't wake up? What if...

No. I refuse to think that.

I stop pacing and fall back onto my bed, groaning and looking up at the ceiling. What the hell could be happening with her right now? It's been hours since I talked to her.

Is she alright?

"Ni? Are you okay, mate?" Zayn asks, his voice full of exhaustion as he tries to sit up. Instead he just turns towards me, his brown eyes squinting in my direction.