Torn Between Two (CM Punk Love Story)

Chapter 43; Healing

*Several Weeks Later*

*Alicia POV*

Things have slowly been getting somewhat better. I've been seeing a therapist lately and it has been helping a lot.  Phil had to go back to work a few weeks ago and i miss him like crazy.

I still haven't answered anyone's texts besides my family and Phil's. I know that eventually i will have to confront them all sooner or later.

Despite the progress i have made, i'm far from my old self. I've lost fifteen pounds since i lost my little Logan. I just need to focus on getting better right now. 

I can honestly say that my love for Phil has grown throughout this experience. He has been there for me during my darkest hours and i will never be able to repay him for that.  This whole thing had definitely brought us even closer together.

Tonight there is a live show here in New York, so i thought i'd surprise him and drive out. I know i will be bombarded with questions from people, but i'm okay with it. I haven't posted on twitter since i announced losing the baby 6 weeks ago. 

I decided to go and get ready for the show tonight. I hopped in the shower and let the hot water and steam take me away. I love taking hot showers because its starting to get colder outside even though its only October.

I got out and blew my hair dry. I dyed it a darker brown a couple of days ago. I straightened it and put on a black headband. I put on some pretty neutral and minimal makeup. 

I walked over to my huge closet and began rummaging through my jean piles. I eventually decided on a pair of dark wash distressed Levi's that hugged my hips. I sifted through my rows of sweaters and picked a big white pullover one with a black cross in the middle.

I straightened up the rest of my closet and headed for the door. I tied my favorite black authentic style vans and grabbed my keys.

*An hour later*

I arrived at the arena in New York with 10 minutes to spare. The traffic wasn't as bad as i thought it was going to be. No one knew that i was going to be coming tonight. 

The security guards recognized me and immediately let me through. I walked down the halls for a minute or two before i began seeing people i knew. I saw John first and he came over to me and hugged me tightly.

"How are you holding up?" he asked softly.

"It's really hard, but i've been going to therapy," i admitted.

"You haven't answered my texts," he said.

"I'm sorry. I haven't been in the mood to talk to anyone," i said.

"You don't look so good. Please take care of yourself," he pleaded.

"I will John, thank you," i said as i kissed his cheek and continued walking down the hall. I saw a bunch of other people i knew. I saw Stephen, Randy, Nick, Celeste, Antonio, Mark, and they all looked at me with shock. 

I guess they didn't expect me to even show up for a long time. I walked over to Phil's locker room and opened the door. He was sitting with his back towards me and he was on twitter or something. "Please leave," he mumbled. He didn't know that it was me behind him.

I put my hands around his eyes and whispered, "Guess who?" That must have shocked him because he spun around and smiled at me. "I missed you," i said as i sat on his lap.

He put his forehead against mine and said, "I'm really glad you came baby. It was very courageous of you." My heart got heavy as he said those words. The more that i thought about it, i realized that he was right.

I cupped his face in my hands and smirked at him. "You are so cute Phillip," i said mockingly. "Phillip?" he asked with a laugh. "Well that is your name," i said. "It just makes me feel old," he said with a grin.

I stared into his eyes and realized that i want to be with him for the rest of my life. He's everything i could have wanted and more. I brushed my lips against his and wrapped my arms around his neck. He tangled his fingers in my hair as we kissed. 

"I want to be with you forever," he whispered after we pulled apart.

"I love you," i responded softly.

We got up and held hands as we walked through the building as superstars stared at us. 

*REVIEWS PLEASE*