The Diary of a Struggling Genderfluid: 2

Hi, I'm stupid.

Hi guys.

I'd like you to meet me for all I am:

stupid.

Good grades don't reflect jack shit.

No matter how much I try, I can't fucking grasp this stupid concept in my math class and I'm taking the notes and trying the homework and when it was simpler I barely grasped it with my notes right next to me but now we have this huge homework assignment and the only reason I even understood a fraction of it was because Ronnie was helping me. But I'm still so lost even after my meth teacher specifically came over and taught me how to do it I have no idea.

I tried really hard on an English project/test thing today and got extremely frustrated multiple times over. It wasn't really a one person doable thing, and I needed help, but I couldn't get any, because other people were working on theirs. And then, this idea I thought was 'really good' or whatever was like third grade level shit and I could have done so much fucking better. There was this one girl who did a brilliant painting and I'm just so fucking mad that I couldn't be bothered to try even a little harder to make something more artistic.

And work isn't making me feel all fine and dandy at all. It's really frustrating, because I want to learn everything, but there's so much to learn and I keep fucking up and I should know by now I should really I should but I don't and I need to step it up but I can't because I'm overwhelmed. I just ask way too many questions and make the same mistakes over and over and I can't seem to get it right.

I'm

just

stupid.

Question is will I even post this chapter idk I'm stupid enough to feel that it's selfish of me to ruin everyone's night with my stupid concerns and negativity and I'm sorry.

I'm stupid.

Markie out.

(I took thirty minutes of looking through old conversations with certain people and now I will post this sorry for dumping my misery on you)