The Diary of a Struggling Genderfluid: 2

Fall Out Boy pt 2 (honestly I'm such trash)

*ahem*

We dedicate this album to anybody people said couldn't make it

This band. I don't know how to explain it, yet they are one of my lifelines.

Change will come, oh change will come

And it just... happened.

You can only blame your problems on the world for so long

I was going through a time where it was hard, and I was really really into My Chemical Romance. Not that I'm not now, but I felt their darker, more harsh sound really fit how I was feeling, and of course I felt like and still feel like their lyrics speak to me in a meaningful way.

Where is your boy tonight?

During that time, I had also gotten into Panic! At the Disco (more like Panic! At the Forehead), and I was on Pandora often listening to Panic! radio. Sometimes, these good songs would come on, and I'd think 'woah, this song is pretty good', and add it to my Spotify. I vaguely understood the fact that these songs were by a band called Fall Out Boy, and I knew a couple of their songs, but it wasn't really anything major. I was still focusing on mcr, and I didn't need any more bands to get into.

I hope he is a gentleman

Over time, I began to look into this band, especially since at least 85% of my Twitter timeline was filled with fans of this band. I saw mostly album names like Save Rock and Roll and Folie a Deux, and saw how people ranted over Folie being extremely underrated.

Sometimes before it gets better

I looked into them. I followed them on Twitter, looked up the fandom stuff on instagram, and watched plenty of interviews. I took a liking to them, and saved their full new album, Save Rock and Roll.

The darkness gets bigger

I learned all the lyrics to that album. I liked their music a lot. It was fun and upbeat, yet the lyrics still spoke to me. Besides, this amazing singer, Patrick Stump, had a great voice.

The person that you'd take a bullet for

Over time, I grew in the fandom. I saved more music. Listened to more albums.

Is behind the trigger

I slowly fell in love with the music.

I will never end up like him

I wish I could describe to you the exact way the music makes me feel.

Behind my back I already am

The way Patrick's vocals and backing vocals sound like the clearest, most true I've ever heard, and give me goosebumps every single time I take time to notice the sheer vocal range that tiny, beautiful man has. The way his happy, shiny, yet sincere personality makes me so full of happiness.

Keep a calendar this way you will always know

The way Pete plays his bass and acts goofy all the time, yet he is so involved in trying to promote happiness in his fans. His bass lines almost always feel like they sync up with my very heartbeat.

A constellation of tears on your lashes

Joe Trohman is beyond any shadow of a doubt a guitar god. He plays so amazingly, yet never gets enough credit. He's quiet and shy, yet fun and absolutely hilarious whenever he gets the chance to say something. He truly is the backbone of Fall Out Boy.

Burn everything you love then burn the ashes

And Andy Hurley.  Andy. Fucking. Hurley. What a sweetheart. He's so sweet and kind, and the most seemingly hardcore man until he shocks you with his voice and how polite he is. He is the literal embodiment of a Teddy bear, and it breaks my heart when he doesn't say much in interviews. (SHUT UP FOR ONE GODDAMN SECOND PETE) (jk Pete sorry ily) He's also just amazing on the drums, and whenever he does simple acoustic performances with Patrick, his backing vocals are awesome.

I'll spin for you like your favorite records used to

I don't think I'll ever find another band that makes me feel what fob does.

Sing, until your lungs give out.

Grey out.