Yogscast Child

Chapter 23

Sam's POV

"Whatever, I'm still declaring myself winner!" I shouted into my microphone, grieving over the lava-destroyed remnants of my Minecraft house. Sjin and I were playing our very own build battle and he had not taken kindly to my now advanced skills, causing him to burn my home to the ground because he wasn't able to stand losing.

"How'd you manage to get so good?" he asked, his voice rising up and down dramatically.

"I've been practicing every night obviously!" I replied. Which was true. After spending my days in Yogtowers messing about and filming my own videos, I went home and honed my skills on Minecraft. Although I would never be up to Sjin's level, I had practiced a few house-building techniques at home (which is definitely not cheating!) in preparation for our battle.

The last week of my life had been a blur, but in a good way! I had managed to kind of ignore Sparkles' advances. But, he was really getting to me! His constant smiles and stupid gestures (like dramatic hair-flips and unnecessary winks) were actually  very attractive, as much as I didn't want to admit. I had been friendly back though, which was very unlike me. I waved, smiled, acted very polite, all while freaking out in my head about the kiss and my strong attraction towards him.

After hanging my Skype call with Sjin, I made a bold and probably stupid move to text him with my problems. Ever since I had met Sjin, we had an extremely strong connection-not in the least romantic. We were just very friendly with each other, and our relationship grew more and more with each day we spent together.

After texting him with a super long message saying: Hey I need your advice but you can't repeat any of this to anybody or I will cut your balls off- I like Sparkles and he likes me I think but I'm really awkward and weird and I don't know what to do what if Lewis finds out and hates me what if Sparkles secretly hates me I don't even like myself that much I'm very confused please send help!! :O He responded by Skype calling me right back.

I answered quickly, but was very nervous to talk face to face, even though it was Skype. Once the video call had connected, I saw his grinning face with his purple beanie on top of his head.

"Wow, another beanie. I couldn't have guessed," I joked.

"Ha-ha. Very funny. Would you quit judging my stunning fashion choices. You know I have great taste. And anyways, you rude-dude, we have bigger and juicer topics to discuss, dealing with your love life!"

"Stop!" I interjected. "There is no love life!"

"Yet..." he said with a grin. "But seriously Sam, you need to stop doubting yourself and being so harsh. Obviously, Sparkles really really reeeeealllyyyy likes you. I mean, for fuck's sake, he's constantly making eye contact with you, acting all giggly, and watching out for you at Yogtowers. And you're ALL he talks about- like, ever. It's getting very annoying actually."

"Seriously? I just don't understand... why me?" I said quietly, wondering out loud.

"FOR REAL SAMANTHA? God, for a smart girl, you're pretty dumb. You need to get it through your thick head that you are amazing! You're smart, funny, selfless, and a bunch of other stuff.... I'm not trying to get too sappy up in here. I know it may be hard for you, but you need to realize that you are capable of receiving love. Everyone here at Yogtowers could not live without you- especially Sparkles! It may be hard, but you need to really start letting people in."

As Sjin spoke, I looked down at my feet, tears pooling in my eyes. I told myself not to cry but it just kind of happened. I had to start letting myself be loved. More importantly, I had to start loving myself.

Sparkles* POV

God, I really liked her. She was beautiful. I loved the way she smiled at others and the way she was so caring and helpful. I loved how witty and humorous she was, especially when she was relaxed. I loved her awkwardness and clumsiness around me, and how she tried her hardest not to roll her eyes when I attempted to make her laugh.

I love being around her, watching her come out of her shell more and more every day. I wish I could've been in her past to protect her so she wouldn't have become as guarded and scarred as she is now, but I'm trying to make up for the past by keeping an eye out for her.

All I want is for her to really talk to me and tell me how she's feeling. Other than some friendly hello's and winks, waves, etc, I haven't had a full on conversation with her. The last time we kind of talked was when she jumped into me after I brought up the kiss.

***************

"Damn it," I mumbled to myself after looking at the clock.

I had spent the last couple of hours working on some potential mixes for a new song, but hadn't realized that it was getting so late.

"Whatever," I thought to myself, "I'll pick up where I left off in the morning."

I grabbed my coat and walked out of my office, then promptly bumped into someone while shutting my door.

"Oops! I'm  so sorry..." I started, then realized Sam was in front of me.

She smiled, one of her small, nervous ones that made me a bit weak in the knees.

"Hi..." she whispered.

"Hi," I said right back.

"Ummmm, I really think that I need to talk to you, do you mind?" she asked, nervously drumming her fingers on her jeans.

I wanted to jump with happiness at her proposal, psyched that she was ready to talk.

"No, of course I don't mind," I told her, opening my door right back up and gesturing her to come in.

"Thank you", she said as I pointed for her to sit on my little couch, next to me.

"I just feel like I have a lot to say, which is very unlike me.... and I really don't know how to begin, so I guess I'll just go?"

I nodded at her, trying not to grin.

"I just... I know that I'm really messed up. And I know that I haven't been the best person to be around, especially towards you. I'm just trying to wrap my head around everything, you know? It's strange being surrounded by so many people that genuinely care, which isn't an excuse. But I'm trying to be better, to let people in I guess. But letting people in means that they can see all my flaws and the darker parts of my past. It's hard and it's terrifying. But I think I'm ready to really try. And I just want you to know that I really, really like you. A lot. And it scares me. And I don't know if you feel the same way... but hopefully you do because if not-"

"Shut up," I tell her, staring deep into her eyes.

And then I kiss her for the second time, wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace. She kisses me right back and hugs me fiercely. Finally, I feel complete and kiss her until we both have to come up for air. 

"I really like you too," I whisper, continuing to hold her in my arms.