Gay Is Bad-Ziam

Chapter 16

Zayn's P.O.V.

I wake up hazy and confused. Last nights memories begin flooding back to me and I groan. My parents would kill me if they ever found out.

I roll over to see how much time I have left to sleep and I gasp when I see that it's past noon. I missed my lecture. Great.

I get out of my small bed and head to the living room. There's bright sunlight flooding in from the window, making the wooden floors shine.

I frown when I see Liam sprawled out on the couch. "Hey asshole, are you the one who turned off my alarm?" I ask, shaking him awake.

He groans and his eyes flutter open. I try not to focus on the way that they sparkle or the fact that he has no shirt on and his sweatpants are low enough for me to see his v line. "Piss off, I'm hungover." He growls.

I roll my eyes and move to the kitchen. It's not until I'm reaching for the frozen waffles, that I remember what I said to Liam last night. I confessed that I'm attracted to him. I told him that I'm gay. Fuck.

The waffles drop from my hands and fall to the ground with a thud. I collapse against the table, hiding my face in my hands. I am screwed. Completely fucked up.

"Zayn." I jump when I hear a quiet voice next to me.

I move away from him. "Stop. You should be at class." I tell him.

He shakes his head. "Zayn, stop."

I shake my head, backing up even more until my back hits the wall. He just wants to hurt me. He just wants to get into my pants. He's nothing but a slut and a faggot.

My hands are shaking from anger. I'm angry at myself. And I'm angry at how hot Liam looks as he's cornering me against the kitchen table.

"Why are you scared of me? Stop pushing me away, Zayn. Running from your problems won't help anything!" He screams, his face red with frustration.

"I don't have any problems!" I scream, ducking under his arm to get past him. Just as I thought I made it, I feel his hand grab my arm and he pulls me back, causing me to hit his bare chest with a lot of force.

"Don't touch me. I'll hit you if I have to. Let go of me." I growl through clenched teeth.

"You won't hurt me, Zayn." He tells me, calmly. This only causes me to get more angry.

"I fucking will. Get your nasty hands off of me." I seethe.

He ignores me, and instead he spins me around, placing his plump lips on mine. I gasp at the feeling. At first, I try to push him away but the butterflies erupting in my stomach, cause me to stop my useless actions.

Instead, my hands move up to cup his rugged face and I pull him in closer. I kiss back, harshly. It's as if all my confusion and frustration is being released.

His hands squeeze my hips as if holding me in place. My hands travel up to his soft hair where I tangle my fingers.

I'm aware of his grip on my hips tightening and suddenly, he rocks his hips forward to grind on mine. My head falls back as a throaty groan comes from my throat.

His lips begin kissing down my neck and I sigh, not really sure as to what I should be doing right now.

He suddenly pulls away to look up at me. "Why are you crying?" He mumbles, watching me closely. All I can focus on is his red cheeks, and wild eyes. I caused that.

I reach up to wipe my cheeks. "I-I'm sorry I didn't e-even realize." I mumble.

He gives me a worried glance. "Did you not want me to kiss you?"

I shake my head. "No I just...I'm confused I guess."

He steps closer to me and I'm surprised when he scoops me up, into his arms, with one swift movement. I gasp and tighten my grip around his neck.

He chuckles and carries me over to the couch. He sits down, holding me on his lap. I lay my head onto his chest and he begins running his hands through my hair.

A few minutes of silence pass before I speak up. "You smell nice." I tell him.

He chuckles. "Do I?"

"Yes. You do." I tell him and bury my face into his neck.

"Zayn?" He says and I look up at him. "I know you don't enjoy talking but I need to tell you something."

I adjust my seating position so I can get a better view of his lips when he talks. I could watch him talk for hours.

"You were serious when you told me last night that you...like me...right?" He asks, cautiously. He's worried I'll probably explode at him again.

I sigh and nod. "I-I...yea."

He smiles lightly. "Well, I like you too and," he sighs, "I know you're new to this whole...same sex thing and uh...society tells you that you need to label yourself as gay or straight or bi or whatever but...that's not true. You don't have to label yourself as anything."

I raise my eyebrow. "What?"

"I know it can be confusing when trying to figure out your sexuality and I guess what I'm trying to say is...just live in the moment. If kissing me and being with me is what feels right, go for it. You'll eventually figure it out. No point in trying to rush it and stressing yourself out." He says.

I don't realize that I'm holding my breath until I begin feeling dizzy. A few moments of silence pass, we're just staring at each other. "But you'll help me through all of it, right?" I ask, timidly.

"Of course." He mumbles, pressing a light kiss to my forehead.