Gay Is Bad-Ziam

Chapter 10

Zayn's P.O.V.

A couple days have passed since the rave. Liam hasn't spoken a word to me and I haven't spoken a word to him.

Yes, I feel bad for how mean I was to him and I know I should go apologize but I'm scared. I'm scared of myself more than him.

I'm suddenly having weird thoughts and feelings towards Liam that I don't like. I don't know if this is a phase or maybe I'm caught up in the moment. I just can't get his doe brown eyes and gentle smile out of my head.

It's Friday night and Niall is in his room, packing up to go home for the weekend. This means that it'll only be Liam and I living here but I'm not going to get worried about that. Worrying causes wrinkles.

I survived my first week of college. Barely. Now I'm celebrating by playing GTA on Niall's play station which he let me borrow.

"Zee, are you gonna sit here all night?" Niall chuckles, walking into the room. I notice he has a backpack strapped to his back and keys in his hand.

I shrug and pause the game to look up at the blue eyed boy. "I don't have any plans. All of my two friends are busy." I groan.

He pouts. "Maybe you could do something with Liam? You two never talk, you need to get to know each other."

I bite my lip. "Maybe I'll do that." I lie.

"Well, I'm gonna head out. Call me if you need anything." Niall says and walks towards the door.

I wave to him and he waves back, a big smile on his face. He's always talking about his family and I can only imagine how excited he must be to see them. It causes me to feel a pang of homesickness.

I lean my head back against the couch and sigh. GTA gets boring after a while, unless you play online. I get up to stretch my legs and get something to drink when the front door slams open, revealing Liam with yet another guy.

As soon as Liam closes the door, the slightly taller man slams him into the wall. They're both frantically grabbing each other's bodies and kissing as if their lives depend on it.

I groan and make a u-turn, heading towards my room. I plug in my earphones to try and block out their noises. I blast music as loud as possible and I try to distract myself by studying.

I don't know why I felt jealousy soaring through me. I couldn't care less about who Liam sleeps with.

About half an hour later, my stomach grumbles and I realize that I should grab some of the leftover pizza left in the fridge. I pull out my headphones and I'm relieved to be met with silence. Their butt fucking session is over.

I step out into the hall and I'm surprised to find Liam laying on the couch, staring up at the ceiling as some dumb tv show plays in the background.

I kind of expected him to go out for round two.

I open the fridge and I can see there's two pieces left. "Hey Liam? Do you want a piece?" I ask.

He chuckles. "Look at you, talking to the gay."

I roll my eyes. "Liam, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Everyone makes mistakes, okay?"

He scoffs. "Whatever."

I microwave the two slices before making my way to the couch. I take in a shaky breath before plopping down next to Liam.

I hand him the plate. "You didn't really give me an answer so..."

He looks up at me, no emotion on his face. "Thanks." He mumbles and grabs the smaller piece.

We eat our food in silence, quickly finishing them with huge bites.

"You're probably right." He whispers.

I turn my head. "What? I didn't say anyth-"

"You're probably right about me drowning in that toilet. You shouldn't have helped me. I'm fucking miserable." He chuckles dryly and my chest tightens when I see tears pooling in his eyes.

"Why? It's so easy for you to find someone to sleep with every night." I point out.

He shakes his head. "You think those people care about me at all? Because they don't. At all. I have no one I can turn to and trust. I have no one I can go to just to cuddle or...or I don't fucking know, have a conversation with."

I bite my lip. "There has to be someone, Li. You have so many friends."

He turns his head, his eyes still glossy from the tears. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this shit." He grumbles and gets up with a huff.

Without thinking, I grab his wrist and pull him back down. "Please tell me. I know you hate me and all but it's not good to keep so much stuff in." I tell him.

His eyes search my face. "Go FaceTime your homophobic family or something, quit bugging me." He mumbles but doesn't move from his spot.

I remove my hand from his wrist and scoot to sit closer to him. "Tell me about your family." I say.

He plays with his fingers. "Really?"

I nod. "Really. I don't know anything about you."

I notice his face is flushed but I choose to ignore it as he begins to speak. "Well there's...my mum and dad...and my two sister."

I laugh. "Do they have names?"

He catches my eye, a small smile on his lips. "No we just call them sister 1 and sister 2."

I raise my eyebrows. "Ah, so how old are these two sisters?"

"Nicola is 25 and Ruth is 27." He says, his face beginning to brighten. "I haven't seen them in ages."

"So you're the baby?" I tease and prop my feet up on the coffee table.

"No I'm a big manly man." He growls and flexes his muscles.

I look at his face to distract myself from checking out his huge arm. I've always thought that muscled guys are ugly and scary but Liam is quite the opposite of that.

We spend the rest of the night talking and laughing. At around midnight, we throw on a movie and I move over, laying my head on his shoulder.

I don't know where this wave of confidence came from but it just felt like the right thing to do, so I went along with it.

At first he was all stiff and weird, but eventually he wrapped his arm around my shoulder and held me close to him. He smells like hair product and cologne which is a good mix.

"Zee?" He whispers just as my eyes are about to drift shut.

"Yea?" I yawn.

"Are you doing this just because I told you I need someone to talk to and cuddle?" He asks.

I laugh. "Stop talking crap, pillow."

I don't know what to say to him. How can I possibly tell him that I'm doing this because I'm attracted to him? In the least gay way possible of course.