I Want To Break Free ❤ Harry Styles Fanfiction

Chapter 33

“I see your point. But who knows, maybe it's just something he decided to do once. How long is he staying here anyway?” Harry asked as we slowly started to walk through the hallway.

“He's staying until the funeral. It was no point in going home until everything's done,” I said.

“Okay,” Harry said. We became silent for a while.

“Harry, I have something to ask you,” I began.

“Sure, anything,” he said back and gave me a smile.

“Promise me that you'll say no if you don't want this.”

“I promise.”

“How would you feel about going to the funeral with me?” He didn't say anything, just looked at me. An awkward silence took place. I knew it, he would say no. But that's okay, I guess.

“It's okay, I understand that you might be busy, I just though that I'd ask. I kind of need your support.”

“Sure,” he said, causing me to blink in surprise.

“I'll go with you. If your family don't mind.”

“I love you so much!”

Time flew by pretty fast. Maybe it's because I've been fearing the funeral and that's why the time went so fast, just because the day would come even faster. Well, who knows, maybe that's a good thing. To get it over with. Harry had been an angel, really. Taking care of me everyday, making me laugh and trying to get me on other thoughts. A small comfort in all my thoughts were the rapist. The fact that he hasn't send anything more to me. Not taking any contact what so ever. It felt good of course, maybe one less problem to deal with. But I couldn't help but feel that it wasn't the end of that story yet. Why would he do all that to me then just stop? No, I'm pretty sure he has something going on. Maybe he's forming some sort of plan right now, and that's why he hasn't paid any attention towards me in a while? I really don't know what to feel about this whole situation, should I be scared or not? Like I said, it's a good thing that he has stopped texting me, maybe it's all over now. Or was that what he wanted me to think? What if he's planning on coming after me even stronger than before, now that he sees how Harry looks after me. But then I feel: Fine, let him. Just as long as he doesn't hurt the people I love: Harry, dad, the twins, Elizabeth and even Ben. I felt powerless. I couldn't control the rapist's mind, no matter how much I wanted to. All we could do now was wait. Wait for whatever that was coming. Whatever he had planned. Because the more I though about it, the more convinced I got. This wasn't over yet.

“You look great, did I tell you that?” Harry whispered in my ear as we walked towards the church, hand in hand. It was time for it. The day I've been afraid of for quite some time now. The funeral. The day I would say my final goodbye to my favorite woman ever walking this earth. I knew that I would lose it. I would lose everything and just sob like an idiot. That's why I'm so happy that Harry's with me, protecting me in every way possible. I gave him a weak smile and looked down on my black dress with some lace and my black high heels. My bag full of tissues was ready to be used in my right hand as I held Harry's hand with the other.

“You look pretty handsome yourself,” I whispered back. Harry had a really nice, black suit that he wore with a pair of black shoes. As we came closer to the church steps, I stopped. Harry did the same and looked at me.

“You can do this Amber, I know it,” he said and squeezed my hand a bit. I let out another sigh as tears started to build up in my eyes.

“I don't want to,” I whispered.

“Of course you do. I can only imagine how much you'll regret it if you don't go inside,” Harry said, and he was right. I looked up and saw a glimpse of my father through the half open door. It was probably as hard for him as it was for me. I'm not in this alone. I can do this. I slowly made my way up the stairs with Harry behind me as he gently held my waist.

“I love you,” he whispered and kissed my cheek, before he took a step back from me and entered the church. I already felt worse when he left me. I walked towards dad that stood and talked to the priest.

“Okay, thank you,” dad said as they ended their conversation as soon as I got there.

“Everything alright?” I asked as I received a rose that I should put on the coffin from dad.

“Yes, everything's in place.”

Dad took my hand, gave me a small smile, asked if I were ready and slowly started to walk after I'd nodded.

People were looking at us as we entered the aisle. I threw some glances around the benches and saw Harry sitting there, smiling at me. I also saw some of grandma's friends that she had made at the place where she spend her last days. I got a lump in my stomach as I saw her. Or should I say them.

My mother. Jim. Mark. Just seeing them almost made me cry, and not in a good way. I looked down and followed dad as we sat down in the front row. Harry came and quietly sat down next to me. I intertwined our fingers and let out another sigh.

I'm not ready for this.

The priest started to talk about how grandma used to be a good person, that she loved her family and so on. That God has opened the heavens gates for her and all that. To be honest, I wasn't paying that much attention to his words, I just stared at the white coffin in front of me. The white box that captured her. Who knows, she might not even be in there. She could be anywhere. My grandma. I grabbed a tissue from my bag and wiped away the small tears. Harry squeezed my hand every now and then, just to comfort me in a discreet way. I turned my hand and looked at dad, but regretted it right away. The worst thing is seeing your dad cry. It's kind of weird because you have this image of him that he can't or shouldn't cry. I don't think I've ever seen him cry before, and it was just to much for me so I quickly looked back at the priest, trying to concentrate on his words instead. But I couldn't help but grab dad's hand.

Harry stepped out of the bench and then stepped aside to let me and dad out. It was now time for the part I've been fearing the most during the whole funeral. I held my rose in a steady grip as I slowly walked towards the coffin. My hands were all sweaty and trembling as I stopped in front of it. I knew that I was supposed to say something, at least curtsy, but my body felt completely numb. That's when Harry closed up behind me, probably noticing the change in me, in my body.

“You can do this,” he whispered. I looked at him for a second, then placed the rose on the other flowers. Harry took a step back, letting me have the last moment with grandma alone.

“Bye grandma. I love you forever. Rest in peace.”   

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