The empty spaces fill my brain,
emotion lost in endless rain.
My thoughts are shattered glass shards
and I can't seem to piece them back together.
I watch you smile and feel okay
but once the song comes on
I fall again.
This tune is etched into my brain
when I was twelve and heard it play.
That night I felt my whole life change
when he held me strained
and whispered my name,
his tongue poisoning my consciousness
asking if I was uncomfortable yet.
And then I heard that melody,
sweet sirens on the radio,
and now I hear that song and think only of you
my love.
The music is the bane of my dreams,
changing blue skies to storm clouds,
all because he gripped my waist
and asked if I wanted him.
But no
my brain screamed violently
as I stuttered the words to get away
without hurting his feelings.
stupid
so stupid
Twelve years old
he's seventeen
he confines me to his lonely bed.
Olive green walls
and beige bed sheets
the music brings back memories.
To scared to run
to ashamed to hide
and so I just forgot his lips on mine,
the violation as I tried to get away,
his hard grip as he made me stay.
Since then the nightmares got darker
and dreams became horrors
the future went blank
and I destroyed my self-image,
sure if I could hate myself
everyone else could to
and that's just what I wanted
to be hated
so no one could hurt me again.
And then I met you
and my dreams came back.
The black clouds became lighter
and rain left the world in shimmers,
beautiful light like
glimmering diamonds
danced before my opened eyes.
You showed me beauty
in the darkest tune
and I sang you to sleep
with the lyrics of my nightmares.
My memories changed from
drowning to flying
as the guitar lulls me to bed at night.
How could this beautiful fantasia
make me think of demons?
All I can picture is angels
my angel.
Oh you
with your happy outlook
and hope for me,
you have changed the darkest song
to a beautiful mellifluous
with just your eyes and touch.
And finally my melodic nightmares turn to dust.
YOU ARE READING
Poems of Death
Poetry***TRIGGER WARNING*** Feel close to death? Maybe you're not quite as close as you think. These are poems I wrote for me and people I love; some were gifts and others are just my thoughts. These are my own words and images. Although this is for mysel...
