If I fall apart
I'm sorry I wasn't stronger
I'll capitalize all my lines
So maybe my words will matter
To even me one day
So maybe I can put me first
But not if it would do you wrong
Just if I could save the world
The one resting on my mind
Weighing down my conscience
Weighing down my breaking heart
The depression is getting stronger
And I can't say why I let it win now
After all the fights
After all the nights
After all the laughs
After all the love
I was never really strong
And I knew it from the start
Though you never believed me
When I spoke
The words would always become
You forget I always know, my love
When something will finally happen
I can feel it in my gut
My gut can feel it in my head
And my head can send it through my veins
And the poison will eventually kill me
And the belief will make it true
I was never meant to live forever
And I know neither are you
And I knew neither are we
But you were meant to live much stronger
Than I could even dream of once
The bullet flying through my brain
Is from the gun when I pulled that trigger
All those years ago
It never stopped
It never fled
And a bullet never will
Even if I back up to the white, crystal walls
The mess, the glass
Will just be louder
Because I could never be what's right
I could never be the queen
Of a world where we are bother happy
If only you could have been my king
I think we weren't meant to fight for me
It doesn't matter if I write in all capital letters
My words can't be heard now
My cries can't be reached
I bury them in my soul
Until they begin to overflow
And even then I make it brief
The bed I made was too big
And now I lie alone in it
I told you I'd be the only one to make it
But I made it twice as large
Thinking I was never to be alone now
But it was stupid to think how
I let myself believe things were all a dream
I forget the dreams are awoken
By my nightmares every night
I can't let myself dream
With all my nightmares coming true
Which one will be next
I can't find out now
I can't fight you now
I can't fight them now
I'm too tired
I never sleep enough
Maybe soon I can
YOU ARE READING
Poems of Death
Poetry***TRIGGER WARNING*** Feel close to death? Maybe you're not quite as close as you think. These are poems I wrote for me and people I love; some were gifts and others are just my thoughts. These are my own words and images. Although this is for mysel...
