Will My Scars Be Cleared?

Two Weeks Later

Ashton's P.O.V

Two weeks later

It's been two weeks since Alissa died. I can't believe she's gone. I can still smell her hair when she just gets out of the shower, her homemade cupcakes that she made, her face when she painted her nails. Everything. Ashelyn knows she's gone. But, she doesn't understand that she won't see her ever again. I miss her so much that words and numbers can describe it. I feel like hazel grace. She's my number ten. I feel like something so great crashed In the matter of thirty minutes. What could I have done to save her? I only hope Ashelyn won't grow up to think it was her fault. They saved the baby. It's a girl. Like Alissa thought it was. I named her Emma. Emma has green eyes with brown speckles. Hair like mine. Lips like mine. But a nose like Alissa. I can't stop crying so much. It's like I stop and smile softly then remember she's gone and break again. I don't wanna be sad. But I can't help it. She was my love. My beauty. My wife. I miss her more than anything. I would do anything to hear her laugh. Ashely has been trying to be strong but, she can't. She's broken again. Her best friend ripped from her. Imagine losing your best friend. I just wish my girls would be able to grow up with her. We haven't been to a funeral since Maggie's. Calum has been a big support system since he knows how it feels for the person you love to be ripped from you. Cal loved Maggie. She went to soon. The funeral is next week and I don't know how to react to that. Her family will be there, God dammit her family. Their a mess as well. Everyone around her shattered. I don't wanna give up on love. But, I don't wanna find someone better than her. I don't remember finding out she was dead at the house. I blacked out. The doctors say I was on the ground in front of her body hugging her screaming for her not to go. They said I even pushed Asheyln back once. I do remember Michael taking her for me. I got her back that night, after it was confirmed that there was no way of Alissa getting a heart beat. I ran out the room into the waiting room where everyone else was but Ashely since she was in the room with me. I dropped to my knees bawling. Ashelyn ran to me clinging her arms around my neck. I squeezed her tightly kissing her forehead a couple times while Ashely ran in. Everyone knew what happened so no one asked. Ashely with tear stained cheeks rubbed my back wiping on coming tears. "Daddy?" I remember Ashelyn whispering to me "yes sweetheart?" "Is my sister okay?" I nodded wiping Ashelyns tears from her cheeks lacing my fingers in her hair. "I love you princess" "I love you too daddy"

After that I don't remember what happened I was to tired and way to sad to comprehend everything that was happening. I remember settling down again and then breaking all over again when the doctors asked me if she was going to be cremated or put in a coffin. Luke answered for me, I'll have to thank him later. Same with Michael,It meant a lot for him talking her for a bit. Currently I'm writing what to say at the funeral. Knowing that I'm gonna stand in front of her coffin scares me. I never thought it would be this soon. I imagined us growing old together. Not this. Crumpling the paper I was writing on I threw it noticing you could barely read the words when my tears covered the paper smearing the inc. "mate it's time for sleep" I nodded looking at the clock that read three forty five. Nodding I stood up following Luke to my room. Ashely was passed out in the guest room. They offered to stay the night to comfort me. Ashelyn was upstairs in her room sleeping as well. Luke walked into the guest bedroom with Ashely going to sleep. I walked upstairs into my room laying down. After seeing it was four thirty of me stirring around I got up and went into Asheylns room. "Ashelyn" I whispered shaking her lightly "yeah?" She questioned rubbing her eyes "wanna come sleep with me?" Her eyes lit up smiling. I smiled picking her up info my arms carrying her into my bedroom. Placing her on the bed I crawled next to her wrapping my arms around her small body. Drifting to sleep I could hear Alissas snores. Man, I wish they were real.