Forever Lost

Chapter 60

Sam's POV 

''I'm sorry'' I whispered. Before I could say something else, he got off the bed and almost walked out the door, when I called out his name. ''Shawn!'' I said, loudly and he stopped not turning around to face me. 

''We have nothing to talk about.'' He sighed and took a step towards the door. 

''Wait! Wait shawn please give me a chance to speak! And I promise....'' I breathed. ''I promise, I'll leave you alone.'' I broke my own heart by saying that, but he wouldn't have stopped and listen to what I'd have to say if I didn't do it. 

''Fine, tell me.'' He frowned. But the words couldn't get out of my mouth. Every time i opened my mouth to say something, I closed it again. I wasn't ready for this. Not at all.. 

''That's enough.. I'm leaving'' he placed his hand on the door knob, and my words finally came out.

 ''I have cancer!'' I shouted as he instantly removed his hand from the doorknob. Still.. I wasn't able to see his face. ''I have leukemia, Shawn. And as far as I know... Leukemia can't be cured. That means.. That means I'm dying. And if I'm dying, I can't let you worry about me.. I don't want you to worry about anything. I specially don't wanna hurt you. That's why I had to break up with you..... I wanted you to move on and forget about me, but I couldn't do it. I couldn't let you go.. Because... I love you Shawn.'' I cried. 

Without turning around to face me, he responded ''I'm sorry Sam.. But I don't believe anything you're saying and all that bullshit you just came up with. I'm rude, I know. But don't blame me for not believing in you after all your lies. And this?'' He turned around to face me. ''This surely isn't something you should lie about, who does that?'' He said in confusion, clearly didn't believe that I was dying. 

''Shawn, listen to me!!'' I shouted, not knowing what else to do or how to tell him. 

''No! Because everything that comes out of your mouth is full of bullshit! Lies and jokes! Instead of telling me lies you could at least tell me the TRUTH about your REAL secret! But no need of that, because I know enough to know that you're the worst person I've ever known, LITERALLY!'' Silence took over for a moment. ''Goodbye, Sam'' He turned around and walked out the door. 

I didn't have to wait for the day cancer hits me, because he already made me feel dead. He hit me right in the chest, he had no idea I was already dead.