Forever Lost

Chapter 23

Cam's POV 

"Sam" I softly shook her to be sure that she was asleep so I could carry her into her bedroom. I lay her on the bed and sat down beside her. Looking at her made me touch her cheek. I've always loved how her soft cheeks turned red whenever she gets sick, okay no lmao. That's bad. I put my hand on her cheek and couldn't stop but think of the old times. 

So I had to force myself to stop. I love Andrea. Andrea is my wife.. She's the person I've promised to love forever. I've told myself to get over Sam but everytime I get to hear her voice or see her face, i immediately feel everything I felt for her back then. 

Somehow, my feelings are always gonna be there no matter how hard I try to move on and for God sake I'm married?! But every single time I look at Sam, I feel connected like it never ended. Looking at her makes me weak. Cause I know it'll never be the same. 

Nothing will ever be the same between us. It doesn't matter how much I want the past to become future, nothing will work out? I love Andrea. And she loves Shawn, my cousin. I don't know what to feel anymore. I can't love two people at the same time. 

I looked away from Sam, and realized how stupid I was to even think about the fact that I still love her, cause I don't. 

I love Andrea and that will never change. I tried to look away, cause as soon as I lay my eyes on Sam, my mind says something else.I sighed, stood up and walked around the room. "You've redecorated every-" I got cut off by what I saw on the floor beside her bed.

 She cut our picture in half.. 

"You really hate me that much?" I said and sat down by the bed looking at everything I never thought she'd keep. She kept our photos, even the fake little rose I won at the carnival years ago. 

As I picked up the photos trying to put the missing pieces back together, I thought of Sam. 

I remember my friends saying that time will heal after I leave her. They told me I should keep missing her until I'll wake up one morning and realize that I don't anymore. They told me that I'd get over her as soon as I find someone better. 

But no. It doesn't matter how long we've been apart from each other, I still feel something. You know what the hardest part was? Leaving her alone in the park. Not knowing when or if I'd ever see her again. I remember looking out of the window, as the car slowly drove away. She didn't even want to look at me. Or actually no..? The hardest part was moving on. 

That's the reason I changed my number and cut it all off. I tried so many things. And when I finally thought it would help, i was wrong. I thought I got over her but everytime I see her, my heart says 'here we go again'. 

ARGHH CAM! 

Andrea is the only person you need to have in mind. Not Sam.. 

I looked at Sam and lay my crossed arms beside her. "Why is it so hard to get over you?" I say confusingly. And how do I even know if it's over? Maybe if I care less about her, it'll help? 

"How can I care less about a person who gave me so much to remember?" I held back my tears as I looked at her.