Ch 29

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Warning: Angst-Drama Parade Ahead

//

I know, in this moment, that whoever speaks first, will define what this means.

When I look into her green eyes, and all the promises they convey, the vulnerability I feel, is stifling.

So I take a nervous breath, and I whisper, "This...this doesn't change anything."

The expression on Lauren's face, breaks over me like shattered glass, cutting me with the tears that escape her eyes.

I have to look away, because I know how much I'm hurting her right now.

So I quickly get up, and step onto the platform, so I can get away from here, and get away from her.

My steps falter though, because Lauren doesn't follow; she doesn't chase after me.

I rush through the thinning crowds, running from her, and running from myself.

//

Over the next two weeks, my life basically revolves around scheduled group appearances, and exhausting rehearsals.

The return to this crazy schedule actually comes as a welcome relief, because I'm able to keep my mind off the drama that's called my life right now.

Since the pictures of Lauren and I at the beach got 'leaked', and the expected press serves to create more buzz about our upcoming tour, Will's thankfully gotten off my back about any further fake dates.

Of course, he's probably too busy getting the rest of the girls to do their own individual promos on the side too, and this divide and conquer strategy of his, succeeds.

During these same two weeks, a couple of unexpected things happen.

After ditching Shawn and Nikki at the fair that night, I find out via an Instagram selfie of them, complete with #lesbro, that they're now newfound besties.

Lauren's letters also stop appearing by my door; and what's even more surprising, is that I don't hear a peep from Dinah about it either.

I get the sense from Dinah that she's upset with me, and how I handled things, but I can't bring myself to speak with her about it.

If anything, neither Mani, or Ally, even mention, or refer to Lauren at all, unless it's in some direct relation to our upcoming tour.

It's obvious they all got together and decided to give me space.

But even though it's exactly what I think I need, I realize that I feel more alone than I ever did before.

My thoughts are brought back to the present, when Normani hands me a bottle of water.

I murmur a quick thanks, and take several gulps from it, wiping an arm over my sweaty brow.

We just finished another marathon day of rehearsal, and we're all sitting in a semi-circle in the studio floor, stretching out our sore limbs.

When Dinah excuses herself to go to the ladies room, Ally immediately pipes up.

"Okay, so Saturday. For Dinah's birthday thing at the tour kickoff party."

Ally gestures excitedly for us to move closer, and both Normani and I oblige.

Her face scrunches as she squeals, and she says, "It's confirmed!"

My jaw drops, and I feel Normani's hand suddenly squeezing the blood out of my arm, and she's definitely winding up for a major shriek.

Before either of us can say anything though, we hear the door slam, and both Mani and I jump back to our old spots, so we can inconspicuously continue stretching.

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